Labels: WTF, You can't make this shit up

You probably imagine your congressman hard at work in the Capitol debating legislation, making laws — you know, governing. But your newspaper probably didn’t tell you that one night in March, members of Congress hosted a crowning ritual for an ex-convict and multibillionaire who dressed up in maroon robes and declared himself the Second Coming.

On March 23, the Dirksen Senate Office Building was the scene of a coronation ceremony for Rev. Sun Myung Moon, owner of the conservative Washington Times newspaper and UPI wire service, who was given a bejeweled crown by Rep. Danny K. Davis, D-Ill. Afterward, Moon told his bipartisan audience of Washington power players he would save everyone on Earth as he had saved the souls of Hitler and Stalin — the murderous dictators had been born again through him, he said. In a vision, Moon said the reformed Hitler and Stalin vouched for him, calling him “none other than humanity’s Savior, Messiah, Returning Lord and True Parent.”

To many observers, this bizarre scene would have looked like the apocalypse as depicted in “Left Behind” novels. Moon, 84, the benefactor of conservative foundations like the American Family Coalition — who served time in the 1980s for tax fraud and conspiracy to obstruct justice — has views somewhere to the right of the Taliban’s Mullah Omar. Moon preaches that gays are “dung-eating dogs,” Jews brought on the Holocaust by betraying Jesus, and the U.S. Constitution should be scrapped in favor of a system he calls “Godism” — with him in charge. The man crowned “King of Peace” by congressmen once said, according to sermons reprinted in his church’s Unification News: “Suppose I were to hit you with the baseball bat to stop you, bloodying your ear and breaking a bone or two, yet still you insisted on doing more work for Father.”

What, exactly, drew at least a dozen members of Congress to Moon’s coronation? (By the Unification Church’s estimate, 81 congressmen attended, although that number is probably high.) The event was the grand finale of Moon’s coast-to-coast “tear down the cross” Moonification tour, intended to remove Christian crosses from almost 300 churches in poor neighborhoods — the idea being that the cross was an obstacle to uniting religions under Moon. Yet the Dirksen ceremony was sold as a celebration of world peace. According to a cheery promotional video released by Moon’s International and Interreligious Federation for World Peace, the ceremony marked the dawn of “the era of the Eternal Peace Kingdom, one global family under God.” Moon’s coronation also cured God’s pain, the announcer explains.

By all accounts, most of the congressmen in attendance didn’t expect a coronation. Instead, they thought they were heading to an awards dinner honoring activists from their home states as “Ambassadors for Peace.” A flier for the event claimed an impressive who’s-who of organizers, including Republicans Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, Rep. Roscoe Bartlett of Maryland and Charlie Black, a top Republican strategist. Democrats were named, too, like Rep. Harold Ford of Tennessee, who, incidentally, claims to have not even heard of the event.

And then there was Rep. Danny K. Davis, D-Ill., the only congressman who has publicly expressed pride in the crowning ceremony, who praised Moon for bringing religious leaders together in his Ambassadors for Peace tours to Jerusalem and beyond. Davis, it was revealed this week in the Chicago Reader, took money from Moon-organized fundraisers, who also gave to a charity of his choice. Davis told an Anglican magazine that Moon’s remarks were “similar to a baseball team owner telling team members that ‘we are the greatest team on earth’” to get them fired up.

At the time, the surreal event went uncovered by the Washington press corps, save for Moon’s own Washington Times, which ran a brief description of the festivities. The story is getting some traction only now, after it was recently reported in the online magazine The Gadflyer. But what transpired at Dirksen two months ago remains a mystery to most Americans — and those constituents of congressmen who attended Moon’s crowning.

Labels: batshit crazies, WTF, You can't make this shit up

A Lake Park man “obsessed with Fox News and the Republican party” is in jail today after he allegedly said that he felt he was going to have to kill his girlfriend because she was a “liberal.”

David A. Kappheim, 60, is being held at the Palm Beach County Jail without bail. He was arrested Tuesday and the arresting Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputy placed Kappheim under a Baker Act. Kappheim is facing charges of domestic battery, aggravated assault and criminal mischief.

Kappheim’s 59-year-old girlfriend, whose name was withheld in the report, told the deputy a number of incidents happened with him before Tuesday.

On Saturday, Kappheim showed up at her friend’s house uninvited and “stark naked,” she said, according to the arrest report.

She said he tried strangling her the next day.

The couple lived together but she asked him to move out. On Tuesday, Kappheim asked to borrow her car so he could move his belongings out. The woman said she agreed but asked him to drive her to work first.

Throughout the ride, the woman said Kappheim drove “recklessly.” When she asked him not to kill her, he allegedly responded by laughing out loud. On Wednesday, she called the sheriff’s office for help.

When Kappheim was approached by the arresting deputy, he said “he was very conservative and (his girlfriend) was a liberal.” He also told the deputy that “he felt that he was going to have to kill her,” the report said.

Labels: right-wing hatemongers, wingnuttia, You can't make this shit up

Labels: American Idiots, And You Want To Give Power Back To These People?, just another outrage, morons, Republican men, Teh Stoopid, You can't make this shit up

As the Republican presidential challenger accused Barack Obama of appeasing America's enemies in his first foreign policy speech of the US general election campaign, advisers told The Daily Telegraph that he would abandon Mr Obama’s “Left-wing” coolness towards London.

In remarks that may prompt accusations of racial insensitivity, one suggested that Mr Romney was better placed to understand the depth of ties between the two countries than Mr Obama, whose father was from Africa.

“We are part of an Anglo-Saxon heritage, and he feels that the special relationship is special,” the adviser said of Mr Romney, adding: “The White House didn’t fully appreciate the shared history we have”.

Labels: assholes, Mitt Romney, pretentious assholes, racism, They Aren't Even Trying Anymore, You can't make this shit up

Labels: batshit crazies, You can't make this shit up

The 55-year old chief investment officer oversaw the division that made bets that JP Morgan has warned could rack up a further $1bn in losses. She will be replaced by Matt Zames, head of fixed income at JP Morgan's investment bank and a former proprietary trader. One of the best paid women on Wall Street, Ms Drew last year received a remuneration package worth $15.5m. Corporate filings show that following her resignation she is entitled to $400,000 in severance as well as a share award that was worth $16m yesterday. On top of this, she has unexercised options that were valued at the end of last year at $3.44m, a series of retirement benefits worth a further $2.63m, and a $9.87m deferred compensation pot built up over several years.

Labels: banksters, greed, You can't make this shit up

Missing: One town turkey. Walks on one leg. Last seen being carried away on Pascack Road in Washington Township.

Reward: $200.

Neither wattle nor feather has been seen of the hobbled turkey — humorously nicknamed “Eileen” by locals — since Saturday morning, when two unidentified men allegedly chased down, cornered, captured and carted her away.

The injured bird has become something of a fixture in town over the past two years, and her disappearance has sparked a hunt for her abductors. The fowl first endeared herself to residents when she was spotted hanging out on a grassy area across the street from 5 Star Gas.

Animal control officials believe Eileen’s leg never properly healed, becoming calcified as a result. They have tried to capture her on several occasions, but even on one leg, Eileen proved to be a formidable opponent.

In the past, her plight inspired numerous calls for help to animal control and police, and even motivated two elementary school children, who sold turkey cookies in November in hopes of raising money for an operation on the bum leg.

Now, everyone wants to know why someone would abduct the town’s beloved turkey.

There’s an investigation by local police. A $200 reward from the bird’s de facto caretaker. Signs posted all over town. And an outpouring of support from local residents — all hoping for Eileen’s safe return.

Police in Washington Township received a call Tuesday morning from representatives at The Raptor Trust, where Eileen — a constant fixture around town for the last two years — was dropped off Monday morning.

The names of those individuals who brought the bird in for treatment were provided to Washington Township police, Lt. Gregg Hackbarth said.

“We spoke to the people that brought her in, and it appears they were just being good Samaritans,” Hackbarth said. “They had the bird’s best interest at hand, and when Eileen’s available to be released, the animal control warden will bring her to the animal center in Wyckoff.”

Carol Tyler, senior animal control officer at Tyco Animal Control, said Eileen’s captors acted in the turkey’s best interest.

“Whoever had her decided she needed to go there to have her leg treated by a veterinarian,” Tyler said.

Lauren Butcher, education director at The Raptor Trust, said a preliminary examination of Eileen has revealed an infection on the bird’s good leg.

“Someone was legitimately trying to help the turkey, and didn’t realize the history of this particular bird in the town where they found her,” Butcher said.

It has been a long, strange week for Eileen, the one-legged turkey, who was back Thursday at her usual haunt at the corner of Pascack Road and Washington Avenue.

First, calls made Saturday to Washington Township police alleged two men had snatched the beloved bird. The purported abduction sparked an intensive search for Eileen, who has become part of the town’s scenery. For the last two years, Eileen has survived despite her injury — a broken leg that has become calcified as it has healed.

The fowl was then delivered Monday by the two men to The Raptor Trust — a bird rehabilitation center in Millington — just as $2,700 was being raised for a reward seeking information leading to her safe return. Police were notified of her whereabouts Tuesday. She was examined by veterinarians Wednesday. And by Thursday, Eileen was returned to her corner, where she could be seen hopping around, pecking at the ground for nuts — immune to the roar of the passing traffic amid the ringing of the 5-Star Gas Station’s service bell.

“I’m kind of happy and I’m kind of not,” said Ruth Carrino, a township resident and former veterinarian’s technician who regularly feeds the bird. “That is a dangerous intersection, but it is what she knows. She is comfortable in that area.”

Officials at The Raptor Trust said that is exactly why Eileen was returned home. Initially, local animal control officials wanted the hobbled turkey to be placed at James McFaul Environmental Center, a wild life sanctuary in Wyckoff.

But in a statement issued Thursday, The Raptor Trust said Eileen — who was “in good weight when admitted to the Trust, and was bright, alert, well-hydrated, and in healthy feather condition” — should return to “where she has been thriving well for years.”

Labels: animals, You can't make this shit up

The New Jersey governor made headlines over the weekend by calling Newt Gingrich an “embarrassment” to the Republican Party, but this rhetoric, according to Palin, was nothing more than a “rookie mistake.”

“Poor Chris. This was a rookie mistake. He played right into the media’s hands,” Palin said on Fox Business Network late Monday. “The host had asked Chris, ‘Does Newt embarrass the party?’ I think he asked him twice, and there, Chris played right into it.”

She added, “You know, sometimes, if your candidate loses in just one step along this path, as was the case when Romney lost to Newt the other night — and, of course, Romney is Chris Christie’s guy — well, you kind of get your panties in a wad, and you may say things that you regret later. And I think that that’s what Chris Christie did.”

Palin charged that answering the question the way he did in response to the host’s question demonstrated a “lack of self-discipline” on Christie’s part — a mistake the former Alaska governor boasted she herself had already learned not to make.

Labels: Chris Christie, pot meet kettle, Sarah Palin, You can't make this shit up

Labels: comedy, Morning Sedition, Rick Santorum, You can't make this shit up

I’m looking for reader input on whether and when New York Times news reporters should challenge “facts” that are asserted by newsmakers they write about.

One example mentioned recently by a reader: As cited in an Adam Liptak article on the Supreme Court, a court spokeswoman said Clarence Thomas had “misunderstood” a financial disclosure form when he failed to report his wife’s earnings from the Heritage Foundation. The reader thought it not likely that Mr. Thomas “misunderstood,” and instead that he simply chose not to report the information.

Another example: on the campaign trail, Mitt Romney often says President Obama has made speeches “apologizing for America,” a phrase to which Paul Krugman objected in a December 23 column arguing that politics has advanced to the “post-truth” stage.

As an Op-Ed columnist, Mr. Krugman clearly has the freedom to call out what he thinks is a lie. My question for readers is: should news reporters do the same?

If so, then perhaps the next time Mr. Romney says the president has a habit of apologizing for his country, the reporter should insert a paragraph saying, more or less:

“The president has never used the word ‘apologize’ in a speech about U.S. policy or history. Any assertion that he has apologized for U.S. actions rests on a misleading interpretation of the president’s words.”

That approach is what one reader was getting at in a recent message to the public editor. He wrote:

“My question is what role the paper’s hard-news coverage should play with regard to false statements – by candidates or by others. In general, the Times sets its documentation of falsehoods in articles apart from its primary coverage. If the newspaper’s overarching goal is truth, oughtn’t the truth be embedded in its principal stories? In other words, if a candidate repeatedly utters an outright falsehood (I leave aside ambiguous implications), shouldn’t the Times’s coverage nail it right at the point where the article quotes it?”

This message was typical of mail from some readers who, fed up with the distortions and evasions that are common in public life, look to The Times to set the record straight. They worry less about reporters imposing their judgment on what is false and what is true.

Is that the prevailing view? And if so, how can The Times do this in a way that is objective and fair? Is it possible to be objective and fair when the reporter is choosing to correct one fact over another? Are there other problems that The Times would face that I haven’t mentioned here?

Labels: epic fail, hack journalism, icepick meet forehead, You can't make this shit up

RICHMOND, Va. --
The state Republican Party will require voters to sign a loyalty oath in order to participate in the March 6 presidential primary.

Anyone who wants to vote must sign a form at the polling place pledging to support the eventual Republican nominee for president. Anyone who refuses to sign the pledge will be barred from voting.

[snip]

Signs for polling places and the pledge form will advise voters that “Section 24.2-545 of the Code of Virginia allows the political party holding a primary to determine requirements for voting in the primary, including ‘the signing of a pledge by the voter of his intention to support the party’s candidate when offering to vote in the primary.’ ”

The pledge will require the voter to sign and to print his name beneath a line that says: “I, the undersigned, pledge that I intend to support the nominee of the Republican Party for president.”

Labels: 2012 election, Republican brownshirts, You can't make this shit up

Labels: Advertising, corporate assholes, Don Draper Wept, You can't make this shit up

Labels: dogwhistling, homophobia, Rick Perry, You can't make this shit up

President Obama did not include any reference to God during his weekly address titled, “On Thanksgiving, Grateful for the Men and Women Who Defend Our Country.”

His remarks were void of any religious references although Thanksgiving is a holiday traditionally steeped in giving thanks and praise to God.

The president said his family was “reflecting on how truly lucky we truly are.”

For many Americans, though, Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on how blessed and thankful they are.

The president said the “most American of blessings” is the “chance to determine our own destiny.”

He called the very first Thanksgiving a “celebration of community”

“We’re also grateful for the Americans who are taking time out of their holiday to serve in soup kitchens and shelters, making sure their neighbors have a hot meal and a place to stay,” he said. “This sense of mutual responsibility – the idea that I am my brother’s keeper; that I am my sister’s keeper – has always been a part of what makes our country special.”

The president said that belief is “one of the reasons the Thanksgiving tradition has endured.”

But nowhere in the 11-paragraph address does he mention the Almighty.

Labels: Christofascist Zombie Brigade, dangerous religious freaks, Get the fuck over yourself already, nutjobs, religious charlatans, You can't make this shit up

Labels: comedy, Newt Gingrich, Teh Stoopid, You can't make this shit up

Centuries of British royal discrimination came to an end Friday after Commonwealth leaders agreed to drop rules that give sons precedence as heir to the throne and bar anyone in line for the crown from marrying a Roman Catholic.

The 16 countries that have Queen Elizabeth as their monarch agreed to the changes put forward by British Prime Minister David Cameron, who had called the rules of succession outdated.

"The idea that a younger son should become monarch instead of an elder daughter simply because he is a man, or that a future monarch can marry someone of any faith except a Catholic, this way of thinking is at odds with the modern countries that we've all become," Cameron told reporters.

The agreement came on the sidelines of a Commonwealth summit presided over by the Queen in the remote west Australian city of Perth.

Current succession rules dating back to 1688 and 1700 were designed to ensure a Protestant monarchy, and bar anyone in line to the throne from marrying a Catholic.

Only a Catholic link is barred. There are no restrictions on marrying members of other religions or atheists.

The rules have their roots in a turbulent period of English history dating back to Henry VIII's break with Rome in the mid- 16th century. The laws were imposed at a time when Catholics were seen as a threat to the state.

Labels: You can't make this shit up

Labels: economic death watch, hysteria, You can't make this shit up

TSA warns of implant bombers, prepares fliers for swab tests

The latest threat to America's skies -- explosive surgical implants that authorities have dubbed "belly bombs" -- poses a security challenge so bizarre that air travelers learning of the new danger Wednesday could only scratch their heads and wonder what's next.

If those fliers had collagen injections or dental implants, what's next may mean having their heads examined. Literally.

The Transportation Security Administration advised airlines that terror groups are believed to be experimenting with explosives that could be implanted in buttocks and breasts, allowing suicide bombers to pass through airport body scanners undetected.

[snip]

The TSA said it had no evidence of a specific plot, but intelligence sources indicated this new twist in bomb-proofing international air travel was likely the handiwork of Ibrahim Asiri, the al-Qaeda mastermind behind the Christmas Day attempt to bring down a Northwest Airlines plane by the so-called "underwear bomber."

Few Americans could have imagined when the first airport metal detectors were installed more than four decades ago that travelers would one day be expected to nearly disrobe before boarding their flights. The idea of implanting explosives in the same places plastic surgeons use to "enhance" many Americans does not strike Zoltan Prokay as far-fetched.

"If they do it properly, like a breast implant where the skin is stretched to accommodate the device, it could work," said Prokay, who spent two and a half years in Iraq working to detect improvised explosive devices as a member of a U.S. Special Forces team. He was flying out of San Jose as a pilot for a private airline, which he declined to identify, when word of the TSA advisory began to spread. "It could be set to go off at a certain altitude. If you get an altimeter implanted in your other breast though, maybe you would set off the metal detector."

Prokay sees it as a natural -- if horrifying -- progression from the Shoe Bomber and the Underwear Bomber. "This would be the Bosom Bomber," he said. "It's not funny. And yet it is kind of funny. The Bosom Bomber."

"If (terrorists) really want to attack, there is always a way," Renata Boudon, 47, said in French after arriving at San Francisco International for a two-week vacation in the western United States. "It doesn't scare me much." She and her two sons, 18-year-old Eric and 12-year-old Marc, live in Brazil and said they won't change anything about their travel habits because of the new information. "If it happens, it happens," she said. "There is nothing you can do."

Labels: security theatre, TSA, You can't make this shit up

Your Pets Will Not Be Flagged For Removal By Jesus During the Rapture

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Date: 2008-06-19, 3:59PM CDT

[snip]

FLAGGERS: Over half the United States population has legitimate concerns about what will happen to their pets after the rapture occurs. Please respect their faith and allow this service to remain posted, just as the waste removal and grooming posts remain posted. Again, over half of the US population feels that this is a concern to them. If there is a specific problem with the ad, please email me. Thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No one knows when that day or hour will come. Even the angels in heaven and the Son don't know. Only the Father knows."
(Matthew 24:36)

"For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord."
(1 Thessalonians 4:15�17)


Have you ever thought about what will happen to your pets after Jesus comes back to claim the souls of the saved during the Rapture and deliver them to heaven to enjoy ever lasting life? The bible clearly teaches that only those that have accepted Jesus as their savior will enter heaven (John 14:6, Romans 3:23), and we all know that pets do not have the cognitive ability to do this, so what will happen to your beloved pets? Surely without you there, they would be stuck inside your empty house, starving to death with no one to feed them, let them out to potty, or clean their litter box. This is probably not what you envision for your pets after you are gone. This is where I come in.

I am here to offer you pet care service for after the rapture. As an atheist, I will surely still be here on this earth post rapture and would love to look after your pets for a small fee and make sure they are still well taken care of after you and your family have been raptured. You will be able to look down on them from heaven and see them being well cared for by me and living happy, healthy lives. Do not let my atheism scare you! I am a moral and loving pet owner and would never do harm to any animal.

For a small deposit of only $50, you can be assured that your pets will be well cared for from the time that you are raptured until the end of their natural life. They will get adequate amounts of food, water, and shelter as well as plenty of exercise and socialization as I would imagine there will be a lot of pets that will be abandoned by Jesus the pet hater that will need to be cared for.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
If interested, please email me for my PayPal address (you can also send me a check if you prefer) so you can assure that your pets will be taken care of after Jesus comes to take your soul to heaven. $50 is only a small price to pay to know that while you are enjoying everlasting bliss, your pets will be cared for until their end days. Thanks and have a great day!

Please do not flag this ad. It is very serious.

Labels: American Idiots, Christofascist Zombie Brigade, You can't make this shit up