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"I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (1954-2015), They Live
Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Really, people, did Seth MacFarlane ever stand a chance?
Posted by Jill | 10:31 PM


Anyone with even half a sense of humor had to be sympathizing with Seth MacFarlane about an hour into Sunday night's Academy Awards "ceremony", when this year's host clearly looked as if he'd just as soon go to a small bar somewhere and strike up an impromptu rendition of "Come Fly With Me."

Has there ever been an Oscar® broadcast where at least half the jokes didn't fall flat? Where a third of them weren't cruel to someone? Seriously, why the hate? Sure, the "We Saw Your Boobs" song was tasteless, but this is an industry in which one can't be taken seriously as an actress without doing a nude scene somewhere along the line (and Kate Winslet HAS done a lot of them, that's just a fact), while outside of Harvey Keitel and Ewan MacGregor and Jason Segel, how many actors have actually gone Full Monty? And wasn't that the point of the song? The truth hurts, doesn't it, folks? (Also, too.)

It may be that Borscht Belters like Billy Crystal are better able to softly land the offensive joke than the creator of the song "Prom Night Dumpster Baby". It could also be that in an industry full of self-important, self-styled artistes who even in quality fare are still creating popular entertainment, a guy who's made $100 million on fart jokes and cruelty to a sixteen-year-old female cartoon character and who waltzes into the industry and makes a funny movie about an id-dominated talking teddybear that grosses a half a billion dollars worldwide, is a bit too much of a reminder that not even the great Ang Lee is Rembrandt.

Using disclaimers is a time-tested method of cutting off criticism of the past. The comedians Louie Anderson and John Pinette tell fat jokes so no one can say they're fat. MacFarlane used his advance press last night to at least try to cut off the Worst. Oscar. Host. Ever. meme before a Hollywood community and its hangers-on could say it as if it were something new. The opening bit didn't fall as flat as many people seemed to think it did, but it was clear that Seth was playing to an extremely tough room. Yes, he didn't help his case, but there were seven writers credited for this broadcast, and only one of them was named "Seth MacFarlane."

Where the show's producers and writers went wrong was not in letting Seth be Seth, because aside from the aforementioned "We Saw Your Boobs", which has generated the expected pearl clutching from the usual suspects about misogyny and sexism and the glorification of rape culture (no, people, pointing out that even the most serious actresses seem to sooner or later earn cred by showing breasts is not "rape culture"; forcing women to have invasive vaginal ultrasounds after taking RU-486 and coming up with sodomized virgin exceptions are rape culture -- and calling satire the same thing just makes it impossible to address REAL rape culture) and the poor-taste John Wilkes Booth joke, there isn't a single joke that McFarlane uttered that wouldn't have been given a free pass if it had come out of the mouth of Billy Crystal.

No, where the producers went wrong was in building a show around movie musicals, and then not letting the host, who has a magnificent voice and a real feel for the American songbook, sing a medley of songs like "Ya Got Trouble" from The Music Man (and wouldn't he be an awesome Harold Hill?), and "Singin' in the Rain" and "On the Street Where You Live" from My Fair Lady and for Goddess' sake, why didn't they let HIM sing "Razzle Dazzle" from Chicago instead of having Catherine Zeta-Jones' lackluster rendition of "All That Jazz"? Because the man knows his way around schmaltz music, and if they'd just let him use his magnificent singing voice, the press would have sung a very different tune (sorry) the next day.

What Seth MacFarlane did on this broadcast was hold a mirror up to Hollywood, and Hollywood didn't like what it saw. It didn't like seeing a sexist industry in which screenwriters and directors and prodcers whose sexuality hasn't progressed beyond "Look! Titties!" require women to get naked, but not men. It didn't like being reminded at what actresses have to go through to keep their figures and their youth, and of how much it takes to be a Melissa McCarthy or an Adele Adkins and put on an evening gown and dare to be fierce in it. It didn't like being reminded of the trophy dates of George Clooney and of the absurdity of "It's an honor just to be nominated" and of ageism and of how there still seem to be only three roles that are ever written for black men -- the badass, the noble slave, and the "Magic Negro". Seth MacFarlane drew a big fat magic-marker underscore under the reality that the Academy Awards broadcast is a giant, bloated exercise in self-indulgence, in which wealthy plastic people congratulate themselves on being masters of the universe (heh) because they go in front of a camera and play in honest stories of working people as told by rich Hollywood stars. There isn't a host in the world that can "be a good host" because the broadcast itself has become hopeless. Gone are the Sacheen Littlefeathers. Gone are the Michael Moores, daring to make a ferocious political statement on the stage. Gone are Cher in her crazy costumes and Bjork in her swan dress. Now we get a bunch of men in lookalike tuxes, and women who seem all to have rented their dresses from the same prom store. Maybe we can blame Joan Rivers for the irrelevance of everything except evening gowns, but no matter whose fault it is, this broadcast has become as unnecessary and irrelevant as the Miss America pageant.

So what I propose is to stop looking for the perfect host and put the damn thing out of its misery. No one gives a crap about who wins anymore, because it's all been decided already after the Golden Globes (which are a lot more fun to watch), the Screen Actors Guild and Directors Guild Awards, and the Independent Spirit Awards. The Oscar® broadcast is the second biggest anticlimactic event of the television year not called "The Pro Bowl". Oh, we still want to dish about the clothes. So let's just close up this Big Oscar Show, turn it back into a closed reception, and then set up the red carpet outside the Vanity Fair party. Because after all, the only thing anyone really cares about is seeing whatever glorious creation Salma Hayek is going to be wearing anyway.

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Saturday, September 08, 2012

Hackity hack hack hack hack hack
Posted by Jill | 9:58 PM
You know you don't want to watch David Gregory fellate Willard tomorrow, right? So why not waste time instead reading #DavidGregorysToughQuestions.

The latest:

1m Judy Friday ‏@jujufridaz
#DavidGregorysToughQuestions Explain to viewers how that mean Obama forced you to hid tax returns outsource jobs & make birther jokes

57s Brian Le Mec ‏@Dalmatio
#DavidGregorysToughQuestions Some people might not know this. You are actually a dog-lover extraordinaire, wouldn't you say?

1m The Progressive Now ‏@Progressive_Now
Gov. Romney, how much do you love America, in dollar amounts of course? #DavidGregorysToughQuestions

1m Victoria Bruce ‏@Vickcyn
#DavidGregorysToughQuestions Switzerland or the cayman islands: which is colder?

2m Delores Vandelay ‏@VandelayDelores
#DavidGregorysToughQuestions What would Joseph Smith have to say about Barack Obama?

Noelma Colon ‏@Noe_Colon
@andyrNYT @ebertchicago "How much do you love God?" #DavidGregorysToughQuestions

3m Khai J.G., The Vegan ‏@khaijg
RT @DitaObama: #DavidGregorysToughQuestions May I sit on your lap during the interview?

3m cynthia pope ‏@cindypope
#DavidGregorysToughQuestions Tell me Mitt, how do u make such good looking sons? Will you adopt me?


Enjoy. And drink if Gregory actually asks one of them.

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Saturday, April 23, 2011

And this is the teabaggers' choice for the Republican presidential nomination
Posted by Jill | 9:43 AM
Remember that video I posted the other day, in which one vapid, slack-jawed mouthbreathing teabagger after another said that they liked Trump for president? Here's the business genius they're supporting:
Trump has built an American empire from Las Vegas to New York with towering hotels and sparkling casinos. Forbes estimates he's worth $2.7 billion. But not all of Trump's business ventures have been constant money-makers. In 1991, 1992, 2004, and again in 2009, Trump branded companies or properties have sought Chapter 11 protection.

"I've used the laws of this country to pare debt. ... We'll have the company. We'll throw it into a chapter. We'll negotiate with the banks. We'll make a fantastic deal. You know, it's like on 'The Apprentice.' It's not personal. It's just business," Trump told ABC's George Stephanopoulos last Thursday.

A business declaring bankruptcy is nothing new in corporate America, where bankruptcy is often sugar-coated as "restructuring debt." But it might seem alarming to everyday Americans who can't get a bank to restructure their home loans. If you want to get Donald Trump hot under the collar, accuse him of declaring bankruptcy.


Read the whole sordid story here. It's as much about how the laws are rigged so that people like Donald Trump never have to accept the consequences of their own folly as it is about Trump's own multiple bankruptcies. So here we have a bunch of idiots, many of whom are probably underwater on their own houses if they haven't lost them already, whose own retirement accounts have lost much of their value, supporting a guy who's been able to game the system over and over again for his own advantage.

And they don't even see any irony in this.

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Friday, January 07, 2011

Not to sound like a grump, but...
Posted by Jill | 6:28 AM
The story of the you-can't-make-this-up-named Ted Williams, the homeless man with the golden pipes who has in just a few days gone from the street to media darlinghood, is a lovely one. But the insanity surrounding the multiple offers and the relentless media self-congratulation on giving a hidden gem the exposure warranted by a media that loves a resonant voice disguises the larger problem of homelessness in this country.

Mr. Williams, for all his golden voice, has a backstory that fits what most people think about homeless people -- the Fall of the Substance Abuser. If not for his resonant voice, Mr. Williams would be regarded by the very same people who now want to hire him as part of the vast pool of "undeserving poor and homeless." Even as Mr. Williams begins his new live, one with which everyone wishes him success, there are homeless people everywhere that no one wants to hire, to give a home, to help.

As the Dallas Morning News reports, the new face of the homeless is families:
First, they stayed with family. Then, they rented a trailer. Finally, they went to a shelter.

Katrina Stephens, Alan Charles Walker and their three young children became homeless after Walker's construction work dried up.

Now, the family lives in a modest East Dallas apartment as part of Family Gateway's transitional housing program. Stephens plans to finish school to become a medical assistant this spring.

About 80,000 families – typically a single woman with young children – are homeless on any given night, according to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development.

Families are the fastest-growing homeless population, according to Family Gateway and other local agencies.

More than 170,000 families nationwide stayed at shelters or in transitional housing programs in 2009, up 30 percent from 2007, according to HUD. Those families included 300,000 children younger than 18.

Estimates of the number of homeless families vary.

The National Center on Family Homelessness in Needham, Mass., estimates that 1.5 million children experience homelessness in a year. The center includes children who are "doubled up," living with relatives or friends because of economic hardship.

And in Dallas County, the Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance (MDHA), which coordinates local homeless programs, found that 1,275 people in 422 families were homeless on the night of its annual census in 2010.


On the December 26 edition of This Week, Bob Woodruff did a segment on homeless Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans:



No one is offering these people jobs in media. No one is offering these people who have served their country anything. Republican politicians regard people who still have roofs over their heads but have been laid off as lazy and shiftless and greedy. What do they make of homeless veterans? When was the last time you heard ANY Washington politician talk about the plight of homeless veterans and families?

So yes, let's get the warm fuzzies about Ted Williams' change in fortunes. But instead of self-congratulation, I hope this will re-open the discussion of homelessness in America, and help people realize that every homeless person has a backstory -- and deserves another chance.

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Sunday, June 13, 2010

Everything that's vile and petty about the press..in ONE Maureen Dowd column
Posted by Jill | 6:57 PM
MoDo is still pissed off that Barry isn't nice enough to her and her peeps:
Biden gave a press party at his house recently with a beach theme — complete with Uzi-size squirt guns and water slides. Journalists came with their families, schmoozed with top White House officials like David Axelrod and Rahm Emanuel, and watched a dripping wet vice president walk around with his little grandson. One Obama aide remarked that Biden is “the most beloved person in the White House.”

Jon Stewart and bloggers mocked the journalists, suggesting they were too chummy with power. But the picnic was on the record, and good reporters can’t be co-opted by some cold French fries. Whenever you see politicians in a relaxed or stressful situation, beyond the usual teleprompter speeches and scripted photo ops, you learn something about those charged with making life and death decisions. You may even pick up some news.

We learned there that Joe Biden has been assigned the press portfolio. This is remarkable, given that it was Obama who was hailed as the charming new JFK, the mesmerizing leader who beguiled an infatuated press, as the “Saturday Night Live” skit went, to plump his pillows.

But that skit was more of a caricature of some ideological cable guys and besotted columnists — including some conservatives — than a realistic portrayal of his relationship with the “working” press.

The press traveling with Obama on the campaign never had a lovey-dovey relationship with him. He treated us with aloof correctness, and occasional spurts of irritation. Like many Democrats, he thinks the press is supposed to be on his side.

The patrician George Bush senior was always gracious with reporters while conveying the sense that what we do for a living was rude.

The former constitutional lawyer now in the White House understands that the press has a role in the democracy. But he is an elitist, too, as well as thin-skinned and controlling. So he ends up regarding scribes as intrusive, conveying a distaste for what he sees as the fundamental unseriousness of a press driven by blog-around-the-clock deadlines.

The 21st-century press beast is a scary multimedia monster, caught up in the trite as well as the vital, and reporters rarely can be as contemplative as the cerebral Obama would like.

Sometimes on the campaign plane, I would watch Obama venture back to make small talk with the press, discussing food at an event or something light. Then I would see him literally back away a few moments later as a blast of questions and flipcams hit him.

But that’s the world we live in. It hurts Obama to be a crybaby about it, and to blame the press and the “old Washington game” for his own communication failures.

“On health care, Obama told single-payer liberals that they had to deal with the world as it is, not as they wanted it to be,” said Jonathan Alter, the author of “The Promise,” about Obama’s first year in office. “But he doesn’t take his own advice when it comes to the media. Obama refuses to deal with the media world as it is. He’s holding out for the media world that he wants. But that will never be. That disdainful attitude toward 24-hour cable culture is slowing his political reflexes. We’re seeing that in the oil spill. I don’t think it’s personal with him. It’s not that he despises reporters as human beings, like Nixon. He does scores of interviews and he doesn’t rage behind closed doors. But if he doesn’t make more concessions to Washington as it is, he’s going to hurt his presidency.”

Now that Obama has been hit with negative press, he’s even more contemptuous. “He’s never needed to woo the press,” says the NBC White House reporter Chuck Todd. “He’s never really needed us.”

Assholes.

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