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Friday, October 03, 2008

Note to America's men: If your brain resides in your nutsack, perhaps you aren't qualified to vote
Posted by Jill | 7:54 PM
When I was in high school, someone very near and dear to me said that in males, the brain is located in the penis, and that as they get closer to adulthood, the brain migrates into the cranium, at which point the male is an adult. And he was in a position to know that this is true.

So what are we to make, then, of Rich Lowry, at the National Review, who thinks he's going to get to have sex with Sarah Palin because of "the wink":

I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can't be learned; it's either something you have or you don't, and man, she's got it.


OK, Lowry. First of all, Sarah Palin is not going to have sex with you. Second of all, are you aware of how pathetic this makes you look? Here you are, someone who actually gets paid for this, admitting that instead of having a real relationship, or even real sex, for that matter, with a real woman, you're spending your time on your couch fantasizing about Sarah Palin. I hate to break this to you, but Sarah Palin was not looking at you, and she was not winking at you. Sarah Palin is a middle-aged woman who is still attractive, but still thinks it's junior year and she's the new prom queen. And that wink got her elected prom queen by a bunch of high school boys whose gray matter was still located between their legs. So, Lowry, if yours still is, I suggest you seek the advice of a physician. Because that thing can get infected down there and when it does, it could be painful.

And by the way, I don't want to hear Dick Morris or the other idiots at Faux Noise talk about the "deep sexism" directed at Sarah Palin. Because the only people who are being sexist about Sarah Palin are a bunch of Republican men sitting alone in front of the TV with their trousers around their ankles.

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2 Comments:
Blogger Unknown said...
>I hate to break this to you, but Sarah Palin was not looking at you...

Damned straight!

(She was winking at me, I could tell.)
10/3/08, 8:11 PM  
Blogger Bob said...
I thought, hey, she stole those winks & nose wrinkles from Celine Dion. But the other males who felt like Lowry were horny born again teenage boys, Sarah is their MILF wet dream.
10/3/08, 11:57 PM  
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