"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast"
-Oscar Wilde
Brilliant at Breakfast title banner "The liberal soul shall be made fat, and he that watereth, shall be watered also himself."
-- Proverbs 11:25
"...you have a choice: be a fighting liberal or sit quietly. I know what I am, what are you?" -- Steve Gilliard, 1964 - 2007

"For straight up monster-stomping goodness, nothing makes smoke shoot out my ears like Brilliant@Breakfast" -- Tata

"...the best bleacher bum since Pete Axthelm" -- Randy K.

"I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (1954-2015), They Live
Thursday, July 25, 2013

Carlos Danger, Private Sextitextigator
Posted by Bob | 11:41 PM
"I'm Carlos Danger, Private Sextitextigator."
"You look like Anthony Weiner, disgraced ex-congressman."
"No, really, I'm Carlos Danger. Says so right there on my card."
"That's a bizarre photo to put on a business card, isn't it Mr. Danger?"

 "Do I have a pistol in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?"
 "What kind of question is that, Carlos Danger, or whoever you are?"
 "Ask me if I have a license to carry a concealed weapon."
"I'm not the police, Mr. Danger."
 "Please, ask me."
 "Alright, Mr. Danger. Do you have a license to carry concealed?"
 "No. Now you have to stop & frisk me."
"I'm not going to frisk you, Mr. Danger."
 "What if I gave you fifty bucks?"

The Carlos Danger Theme

 

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Sunday, December 04, 2011

Top 10 Reasons Herman Cain Suspended His Campaign

Yesterday, former pizza mogul Herman Cain announced at the opening of his new campaign headquarters in Atlanta that he was "suspending" his presidential campaign. Citing "prayer and soul-searching", the major reason is obviously the distraction from his campaign created by sexual harassment and adultery allegations. But there were other reasons Mr. Cain suspended his quixotic quest for the White House. What were they?

  • 10) Couldn't tolerate the idea of another one-on-debate with Newt Gingrch, especially one moderated by Donald Trump. Even THE Herman Cain has standards, bitches.

  • 9) Campaign was beginning to seriously cut into his texting and phone sex addiction.

  • 8) Soul-searching turned up no results.

  • 7) Newt Gingrich convinced him the election wasn't big enough to contain two egomaniacal serial adulterers from Georgia.

  • 6) Mark Block announced on campaign blog he was considering quitting smoking.

  • 5) Admitted he only wanted to show off really, really cool gold tie given to him last year for Christmas.

  • 4) Admitted Secret Service would've cramped his smooth style.

  • 3) After speaking with Mrs. Cain, was faced with the reality of making the transition from imaginary victim to very real one.

  • 2) Wife wasn't too thrilled with her husband being the Charles Kuralt of the pizza business.

  • 1) Campaign not really suspended. The head-shaking racists determined to look post-racial by supporting Cain are just seriously let down.
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    Monday, October 25, 2010

    It's not the sexual harassment, it's the lying
    Posted by Jill | 8:05 PM
    Remember when Republicans insisted that their vendetta against Bill Clinton wasn't about his affair, it was about him lying about it under oath in a legal proceeding? Earl Ofari Hutchinson makes a compelling case for the impeachment of Justice Clarence Thomas, under the same kind of perjury claim:
    The impeachment case against Thomas is not based on personal or political disagreement over his views, decisions, opinions and rulings on the bench, his penchant for pornographic material, or for sexual harassment. It is based on clear legal and constitutional grounds, precedents, and Congressional mandates. Article III, Section 1 of the U.S. Constitution explicitly states that a Supreme Court Justice that "lacks good behavior" can be impeached. This is not an ambiguous, subjective term. It has been interpreted by the courts to equate to the same level of seriousness as the 'high crimes and misdemeanors" clause that unequivocally mandates that the House of Representatives initiate impeachment proceedings against any public official, or federal judge in violation of that provision.

    The Constitutional precept is the first legal ground for impeachment proceedings against Thomas. The second is Title 18 of the U.S. Code. It states that any official of the executive, legislative, or judicial branch of the government of the United States who knowingly and willfully falsifies, conceals, or covers up by any trick, scheme, or device a material fact , makes any materially false, fictitious, or fraudulent statement or representation; or makes or uses any false writing or document knowing the same to contain any materially false, fictitious, or fraudulent statement or entry can be impeached. In other words lying to Congress is not only an impeachable offense. It's also illegal.

    It's also clearly established that a public official whether the president, presidential appointees, or judges can be punished for giving false information and that's any false information of any nature to the House or Senate.

    [snip]

    Thomas was asked directly by Utah senator Orin Hatch during his confirmation hearings about Anita Hill's allegations of sexual harassment and misconduct and whether he used sexually suggestive language. Thomas answered: "I deny each and every single allegation against me today that suggested in any way that I had conversations of a sexual nature or about pornographic material with Anita Hill, that I ever attempted to date her, that I ever had any personal sexual interest in her, or that I in any way ever harassed her. "

    Thomas was emphatic, "If I used that kind of grotesque language with one person, it would seem to me that there would be traces of it throughout the employees who worked closely with me, or the other individuals who heard bits and pieces of it or various levels of it." This was stated under oath to the Senate Judiciary Committee.

    Thomas's sworn testimony was clearly contradicted even then in public statements by witnesses. The witnesses were not called to testify. The one witness that contradicted Thomas's sworn testimony, Angela Wright, did testify. She worked with Thomas at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, and was emphatic that Thomas sexually harassed her and used explicit and graphic sexual language. Her story was corroborated by a former EEOC speechwriter who told investigators about Thomas' penchant for improper sexual talk. Letters to the committee from other women who worked with Thomas confirmed that he was a serial sexual harasser and had a penchant for sexually perverse talk. The Senate panel had other sources to corroborate the Hill-Wright charge that Thomas engaged in sexual harassment and obsessive interest in sexual smut. These sources were ignored too.

    Two decades later Thomas's apparent perjured testimony to Congress is now squarely back on the legal table. Lillian McEwen put it there. Her legal credentials are impressive. She is a former assistant U.S. attorney and Senate Judiciary Committee counsel. She also dated Thomas. In interviews, she again confirmed that Hill and the other women's allegations that Thomas engaged in sexual harassment, was addicted to pornography, and talked incessantly and graphically about it and women were truthful.

    I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for this to happen. Remember, Democrats don't do this sort of thing. They're just going to wait around and let Darrell Issa start issuing his subpoenas about nothing.

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    Friday, June 04, 2010

    It can be hard to step outside your own baggage, but sometimes it's necessary
    Posted by Jill | 6:40 AM
    When you grow up in a family where you're not "the pretty one", and you learn early on that "pretty" is more valuable currency than "smart" or "funny", especially when "pretty" is also "musically talented" and "just as smart as you are", it can be hard to step outside that particular little dance.

    I was estranged from my sister for many, many years. I don't even know why anymore, except that I knew she was "the pretty one", and through the filter of my own short, constantly weight-challenged misery, things always seemed to be so easy for her. Of course like most filters, it distorted the truth, and in many ways she was more unhappy than I was. But in the currency which so often matters to the exclusion of all else -- the realm of male attention -- it was easy for her.

    In the last ten years we've often had opportunities to talk this out, and it will pain me to my grave that she spent all those years with hurt feelings that she always felt (sometimes rightly) that I hated her and she never knew why. I hope she reads this and knows how much I regret those lost years.

    One of the things about aging, provided you aren't obsessed about beating a clock that can't be beat, is that it's the great equalizer. No matter how much Botox or plastic surgery you have, you are going to get old. If you have too much of it, you end up like Joan Rivers, who looks neither young nor old, but just masque-like. At some point we have to become comfortable in our own skins.

    But when you're young, if every time you WALK PAST a bakery, even without going in, y ou gain five pounds, "pretty girls" just piss you off. And the problem with this is that the way extremely attractive women are treated is, in its own way, just as bad as the way we "funny ones" are treated.

    Take the case of Debrahlee Lorenzana, who is filing suit against Citibank, alleging that she was fired for being "too attractive." The fourteen-year-old that still lives in my head sometimes wants to think "I wish I had such problems," until I remember that the fact that I am under five feet tall and more often in my life overweight than not has never prevented me from getting jobs, and that I have only been harassed in anything approaching this way once in my life (and it was the catalyst that got me out of the hell of retail department management).

    But while invisibility may not seem like a blessing when you're young, reading about Debbie Lorenzana makes me think it wasn't so bad after all:
    This is the way Debbie Lorenzana tells it: Her bosses told her they couldn't concentrate on their work because her appearance was too distracting. They ordered her to stop wearing turtlenecks. She was also forbidden to wear pencil skirts, three-inch heels, or fitted business suits. Lorenzana, a 33-year-old single mom, pointed out female colleagues whose clothing was far more revealing than hers: "They said their body shapes were different from mine, and I drew too much attention," she says.

    As Lorenzana's lawsuit puts it, her bosses told her that "as a result of the shape of her figure, such clothes were purportedly 'too distracting' for her male colleagues and supervisors to bear."

    "Men are kind of drawn to her," says Tanisha Ritter, a friend and former colleague who also works as a banker and praises Lorenzana's work habits. "I've seen men turn into complete idiots around her. But it's not her fault that they act this way, and it shouldn't be her problem."

    Because Citibank made Lorenzana sign a mandatory-arbitration clause as a condition of her employment, the case will never end up before a jury or judge. An arbitrator will decide. Citibank officials won't comment on the suit.

    Her attorney, Jack Tuckner, who calls himself a "sex-positive" women's-rights lawyer, is the first one to say his client is a babe. But so what? For him, it all boils down to self-control. "It's like saying," Tuckner argues, "that we can't think anymore 'cause our penises are standing up—and we cannot think about you except in a sexual manner—and we can't look at you without wanting to have sexual intercourse with you. And it's up to you, gorgeous woman, to lessen your appeal so that we can focus!"

    This isn't your typical sexual-harassment lawsuit, if there is such a thing. For one thing, such suits often claim that women are coerced into looking more sexy or are subjected to being pawed. Lorenzana claims that her bosses basically told her she was just too attractive. And when she raised hell and refused to do anything about it—as if there was anything she really could do about it—she lost her job.

    [snip]

    Citibank does have a dress-code policy, which says clothing must not be provocative, but does not go into specifics, and managers have wide discretion. But Lorenzana points out that, unlike her, some of the tellers dressed in miniskirts and low-cut blouses. "And when they bend down," Lorenzana says, "anyone can see what God gave them!"

    Then the managers gave her a list of clothing items she would not be allowed to wear: turtlenecks, pencil skirts, and fitted suits. And three-inch heels. "As a result of her tall stature, coupled with her curvaceous figure," her suit says, Lorenzana was told "she should not wear classic high-heeled business shoes, as this purportedly drew attention to her body in a manner that was upsetting to her easily distracted male managers."

    "I couldn't believe what I was hearing," Lorenzana recalls. "I said, 'You gotta be kidding me!' I was like, 'Too distracting? For who? For you? My clients don't seem to have any problem.' "

    The managers instructed her to wear looser clothing. Lorenzana refused. "I don't have the money to buy a new wardrobe," she says, referring to her work outfits. "I shop where everyone else shops—at Zara!" Lorenzana recalls leaving the meeting feeling humiliated. Other female employees "were able to wear such clothing because they were short, overweight, and they didn't draw much attention," she later wrote in a letter describing the meeting to Human Resources, "but since I was five-foot-six, 125 pounds, with a figure, it wasn't 'appropriate.' " She was also furious. "Are you saying that just because I look this way genetically, that this should be a curse for me?"

    Based on this article, which is admittedly Lorenzana's side only, it does seem that because men at Citibank are creatures so primitive that they can't get their brains out of their dicks for even eight hours a day while at work, someone who does a perfectly good job was unable to keep it. This is something I have never had to deal with, and after reading this article, I feel fortunate that I haven't.

    Yes, I've had to deal with more-attractive women getting better projects and being favored by the boss. I've also seen more-attractive women in the same place being treated less well than I was. I work with a woman, now in her mid-thirties, whom I've known for ten years. We worked together in a previous job. When she started at our current place of employment, it was as if Angelina Jolie had joined the company. And watching men talk to her, they look ridiculous much of the time. But she frets constantly about her looks, and the fretting becomes more intense as she gets older. I'm kind of glad I never had to go through that.

    Our culture's obsession with how women look is about more than primitive biology worming its way into the culture. As long as thin women are encouraged to feel superior to fat ones, or older women feel threatened by younger ones, or attractive women feel threatened by men who can't keep their brains in their craniums where they belong, women will remain at war with each other. And with us being 52% of the population, it behooves the existing power structure to keep us that way. Because if we ever realized that the issues we face are often two sides of the same coin, there'd be no stopping us.

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    Friday, September 14, 2007

    Huntress
    Huntress
    New York Daily News:
    Fired Knicks VP puts Rangers' sex book in play
    She's going one on one with the Knicks, but Anucha Browne Sanders may know something about a little black book that could have New York Rangers executives skating on thin ice.

    The fired Knicks honcho claims she told her Madison Square Garden bosses in 2005 that members of the Rangers' front office were keeping a Kama Sutra wish list they would like to try out on members of the team's on-ice cheerleading troupe, her lawyer says.

    "Ms. Browne Sanders received information from her staff . . . that there had been some book being maintained by some Rangers executives," lawyer Kevin Mintzer told Judge Gerald Lynch.

    Mintzer said the book "reflected sexual positions and things like that that they were interested in keeping track of versus what they wanted from what skater."

    He added that Browne Sanders "was aware from one of her staff members that supposedly the book existed."

    That kind of recordkeeping could boost the chances of a second sex harassment case in which a former Ranger cheerleader is facing off against Madison Square Garden brass.

    In that suit, Courtney Prince, former captain of the Rangers City Skaters, claims she was fired after complaining to her bosses about X-rated come-ons by members of the team's public relations staff.

    The Garden has denied her allegations; a spokesman declined to comment yesterday.

    The revelation came during a break Wednesday in Browne Sanders' testimony in the bruising $10 million sex harassment trial pitting the team's former marketing director against coach Isiah Thomas and Garden Chairman James Dolan.

    Garden lawyers immediately objected to airing the Rangers' dirty laundry at the Knicks trial.

    "The Rangers situation has nothing to do with Ms. Browne Sanders," Garden lawyer Ronald Green said. "It's a different team."

    Lynch barred Browne Sanders from detailing the salacious allegation.

    She was allowed to tell jurors about the indifferent reaction she got when she brought the information to Garden President and Chief Operating Officer Steve Mills.

    "One of my employees, Petra Pope, brought something to my attention with regard to the sexual harassment claims by Courtney Prince at the Rangers, so I wanted to make Steve aware of it," Browne Sanders testified Wednesday in Manhattan Federal Court. "He [Mills] just shook his head."

    Browne Sanders claims she got similar reactions when she came to Mills with complaints that Thomas referred to her as a "bitch" and a "ho" and that star guard Stephon Marbury lobbed similar profanities about her behind her back.

    Mills' duties included oversight of the Rangers.

    Prince's claims are slated to be aired before jurors in the same courthouse early next year.

    Last year, she told the Daily News she had to arrange for skaters to "have drinks with the bosses and guests" at bars near the Garden as part of their job.

    The bosses repeatedly asked, "Who's loose?" and "Which is the wild one?" Prince said, adding that one even told her "whom he wanted to perform oral sex on" and "who to have sex with from behind."

    Garden lawyers have attacked Prince's allegations by saying she tried to impose her sexually obsessed behavior on members of the Rangers skate team.

    They say she coached fellow skaters to pad their bras and use explicit terms to describe their anatomy and encouraged them to appear more "f---able."

    Pope is central to another of Browne Sanders' damaging claims against Thomas, the Hall of Famer and two-time NBA champ. Browne Sanders told lawyers in a pretrial deposition that Thomas asked Pope to flirt with referees before a 2004 Nets game.

    "What she told me was that Isiah asked her to go into the referees' locker room and make them happy," Browne Sanders said. "I asked her to tell me what that meant, and she said, 'Well, he wanted me to flirt with the referees.' "

    Thomas claimed he asked Pope, a longtime friend from his days playing with the Detroit Pistons, to check in on the referees after he took over the team in 2003 because Garden management had treated them poorly in the past.

    Browne Sanders takes the witness stand again Monday, when Thomas' lawyers will cross-examine her. Both sides say there will not be a settlement.
    You go, girl.

    Back when Whoopi Golberg used to be funny, I remember a monologue she did about Loretta Bobbett:

    "O.K., I want y'all to know that I don't condone what she did to her husband, no matter how much the asshole deserved it," she said. After a few seconds, a demonic smile slowly grew on Whoopi's face before she laughed out loud and added, "But I understand. Most women do. Even better, although I know it's wrong, it feels damned good to see guys going around being uncomfortable, being nervous, being scared. Why? Because that's how women feel all the time. It's fear, and that fear is a big part of our lives all the time."

    Whoopi was silent for a moment. Then she said quietly, "How does it feel, guys?"

    I wouldn't be surprised if Ms.Saunders saw that scene in Chinatown where Faye Dunaway coldly says to Jack Nicholson, "I don't get even, Mr. Gittes. My lawyer does."

    No, Ms. Saunders isn't using a knife, but by the time this trial is over, the corporate rapists at Madison Square Garden will probably wish she did. Good. What's tying everybody's jockstraps in a knot is the fact that the former vice president of the New York Knicks is refusing to play the Blame The Victim game.

    First of all, Anucha Browne Sanders understood from the beginning that it was a lose-lose situation. Offices, factories, and retail stores shouldn't be hostile snake pits of inequitable gender politics. But they are. By the sadistic rules of the armed penises who are either wearing Timberland boots or hiding behind their Armani suits, women are sluts if they say "yes", and whores if they say "no". (Not that the word "No" is in their dictionary, of course) A woman's status is dictated not by her intelligence but by her looks. Women are expected to ignore the inappropriate touching, pretend not to hear the misogynist insults, and not do anything when the raises and promotions they deserve are consistently given to somebody else [men].

    So now we're supposed to feel sorry for the MSG honchos crying "Foul!" because Ms. Saunders is fighting back, and she's not playing fair?

    How does it feel, guys?

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