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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

No. Just. No.
Posted by Jill | 5:33 AM
One of the problems with being a cynic is that you're all too often right.

In January I sat riveted in front of the Patriots/Broncos playoff game, rooting for Tom Brady and the Pats to pound Denver into the ground, just to end any idea of having to endure sportswriters insisting that it was God Himself who brought Tim Tebow this far into the postseason. I knew what I was doing was dangerous, because the gods don't like this sort of thing, and it can really come back to bite you. As a result, I approached the Super Bowl with much trepidation, certain that I would be punished for my New York sin of rooting for New England at all by a humiliating Giants defeat. When that didn't happen, I was able to exhale, certain that the gods had forgiven me, because strange pacts with the devil happen in sports fandom. Ask Joe Boyd. For that matter, ask any long-suffering Mets fan.

Perhaps the gods have just gotten their Manning signals crossed, confusing Eli and Peyton, because no sooner had the Broncos come to terms with Peyton Manning than the speculation and bloviation began that St. Timmy of the Wobbly Pass (™ Tbogg) might be coming to New York to breathe down newly-contract-extended Mark Sanchez' neck.

No sooner had this story broken when the sports press, always eager for a story no matter what the reality of what life for an ostentatious Bible-pounder (let alone the rest of us) would be among the left-wing Communist Jewish homosexual pornographers that populate the New York metropolitan area, started to simultaneously orgasm at the propsect of Jesus of the Rockies bringing The Knee to the heathen.

Matt Miselis of Bleacher Report does it by subtly implying that Mark Sanchez lacks the manliness of Christ on a Cracker -- implications that have followed the Broadway musical-loving Sanchez since he got here (despite the fact that Guy-Gods Trey Parker and Matt Stone not only love musicals, but wrote one):

Tebow, the most popular sports figure in the U.S., could ultimately win the minds and hearts of the New York Jets.

The Jets aren't saying that Tebow is an ultimate challenger to Sanchez at the quarterback position, but in reality, he will get the opportunity to do so.

He will impress the likes of Rex Ryan, who has an adoration for the hard work and passion that he brings to the game every week. He saw the dynamics of Tebow last season against his top-10 defense in the final two minutes of the game.

New offensive coordinator Tony Sparano could attempt to create Wildcat formations for Tebow. His role in John Fox's scheme led to a division title and a playoff win over the Pittsburgh Steelers—though it seems that defenses began finding ways to limit Tebow's explosiveness.

Yeah. Because Antonio Cromartie, who has already nade no secret of HIS view on the Spreading of the Word, is going to listen to a mediocre overly-hyped quarterback when he doesn't listen to the one he's got already. Who hires these writers?

Clark Judge at CBS Sprts has gone totally off his nut, insisting in his bizarro sportswriter universe that such a fish-out-of-water scenario makes sense:
The New York Jets reportedly are one of the teams inquiring into Tim Tebow, and it's about time. They should. In fact, they should take a long, hard look into trading for the Denver quarterback because ... well, because it makes too much sense not to.

I'm serious.

First of all, he's no threat to their starter. That would be Mark Sanchez, and I don't care what you think of him. I care what the Jets think of him, and they just made a long-term commitment to the guy. Yeah, so they flirted with the idea of adding Peyton Manning. It doesn't matter. This does: They extended Sanchez's contract by three years, guaranteeing him $20.5 million in 2012 and 2013.

That means someone believes in him, so Tebow wouldn't come in to push or challenge Sanchez. He would come in as a backup, and maybe that's a backup to the recently-signed Drew Stanton, too, I don't know. What I do know is that he could be perfectly suited for an assortment of packages designed by new offensive coordinator Tony Sparano.

Wait. So the Jets should get Tebow so Sparano can design plays just for a second- or third-string quarterback? Is that how it works? Where do they find these guys?

I mean, I'll admit that I can be a sucker for a Byronic sports hero who loves show tunes like any red-blood American female of any age who isn't dead, but even in a rational universe, Sanchez doesn't deserve to be jerked around twice in a week, first by having his team gaze lovingly at Peyton Manning, then bringing him roses and candy in the form of a contract extension, essentially telling him, "I'm really sorry, baby, this time it'll be different, you're the only one for me", and then almost immediately casting a loving gaze at Tebow.

Thank God for rational people like Daily News scribe Gary Myers, who actually understand the New York sports scene (even while getting his own dig in at Sanchez' alleged diva behavior):


No doubt Sanchez would set an NFL record for pouting when 80,000 Jets fans, clad in their new green No. 15 jerseys, begin chanting, “Tebow, Tebow, Tebow” after Sanchez throws his first interception of the season.

Sanchez needs some tough love from Ryan and needs to be to be pushed by a real NFL quarterback, but Tebow is a novelty act with limited quarterback skills. Sure, he led the Broncos to the postseason, and even won a playoff game last year with his unconventional quarterback style.

But that was a once-in-a-lifetime run.

Tebow is nothing more than a fullback. At best, he’s a Wildcat quarterback offensive coordinator Tony Sparano could work into his playbook. Still, bringing in Tebow is not worth all the collateral damage his presence would cause.

Damn right. Except for the part about the 80,000 Jets fans calling for Tebow the minute Sanchez throws an interception. Jets fans may be boorish, but while they may not love Sanchez, I'm not sure that turning MetLife Stadium into a tent meeting is going to work for them either.

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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Matt Bai performs journalistic fellatio on Jeb Bush
Posted by Jill | 4:58 AM
Matt Bai really, really, really wants a Bush restoration:
In fact, instead of constantly bashing the 43rd president, Mr. Bush offered, perhaps Mr. Obama could learn something from him, especially when it comes to ignoring the Washington chatter. “This would break his heart, to get advice that applies some of the lessons of leadership my brother learned, because he apparently likes to act like he’s still campaigning, and he likes to blame George’s administration for everything,” Mr. Bush said, dangling a ketchup-soaked French fry. “But he really seems like he’s getting caught up in what people are writing about him.”

“I mean, good God, man, read a book!” Mr. Bush said with a laugh. “Go watch ESPN!”

At 57, Jeb Bush remains an intriguing figure inside his fractious party. At a moment when Republicans are groping for an agenda beyond opposition, Mr. Bush has long been considered one of the party’s true idea guys, someone a lot of party insiders think could still be a serious presidential contender.

But Mr. Bush, the son and brother of presidents, occupies just as intriguing a place within his own family. American presidents have traditionally felt themselves duty-bound not to criticize their successors (no matter what their successors may say about them), which means that Jeb is the only Bush in public life who can defend the family name.

“George isn’t going to break that,” Mr. Bush said, meaning the ex-presidents’ code, “and if he was asked to serve in some way, he would do it, in spite of all the ‘it’s Bush’s fault.’ That’s just the kind of guy he is.”

Often depicted as the most mercurial and bookish of the Bushes, Jeb, who now runs his own consulting firm, seems at ease out of public office. He wore a loose-fitting guayabera, rather than a suit, and responded to questions amiably, with little hint of the prickliness that has sometime marked his interactions with reporters.

Mr. Bush said he met Mr. Obama in 2009 when he accompanied his father, George Bush, to the White House a few weeks after the inauguration. “He was extraordinarily kind and gentle to my dad, which I love,” Mr. Bush said.

He gives Mr. Obama credit for trying to spur innovation in public schools, a policy area about which Mr. Bush is passionate, but his admiration ends there.

“By and large, I think the president, instead of being a 21st-century leader, is Hubert Humphrey on steroids,” Mr. Bush said. “I don’t think there’s much newness in spending more money as the solution to every problem.”

Though he headlines the occasional fund-raiser around the country, Mr. Bush has exercized his political influence this year largely out of the public view. He has been deeply involved as an informal adviser to the party’s candidates for governor, whom he sees as the most likely sources of new Republican policy ideas. “It doesn’t seem like it’s going to be happening in Washington anytime soon,” Mr. Bush dryly observed.

No matter what happens in November’s midterm elections, Republicans will have to make a difficult calibration as they head into the presidential season. The party needs a messenger who can keep its Tea Party-type activists energized behind an agenda and a nominee. But Republicans will also be looking for someone who can reposition the party nationally and make its more strident ideology palatable to the wider American electorate.

This explains why some influential Republicans persist in believing that Mr. Bush might still make a strong candidate in 2012. He is a favorite of the anti-establishment crowd (he is said to have mentored Marco Rubio, the Senate challenger in Florida who gave the Tea Partiers a national lift), but he is also a political celebrity with a pronounced independent streak. As governor, for instance, Mr. Bush strongly opposed drilling in the shallow waters off Florida, and he favors increasing legal immigration, rather than restricting it.

Mr. Bush says he has no interest in running, because he wants to make money for his family, but his political allies seem to read a “for now” into such statements. “Every presidential wanna-be and every member of the House and Senate I talk to, if you ask them who is a difference-maker in our party, they will tell you Jeb Bush,” said Al Cardenas, the former party chairman in Florida.

Washington wisdom — such as it is — holds that the real impediment to Mr. Bush’s political future would be the Bush brand, which has taken a pounding both inside the party and out. Neither George W. Bush nor his father ranks among the more successful presidents of our time, to put it politely.

Jeb Bush’s admirers insist, however, that whatever cloud existed over the name is lifting, as memories of the last Bush era recede, replaced by a hardened conservative opposition to Mr. Obama’s policies. And those who know Mr. Bush say he has never concerned himself with it. “He’s the guy who cares about that the least,” said Nicholas Ayers, executive director of the Republican Governors Association.

In fact, talking to Mr. Bush, one senses that the problem for him as a future candidate might not be the efficacy of the Bush brand, but rather what he might need to do in order to transcend it. George W. Bush ran successfully for president in part by putting some distance between himself and his father, signaling to the Republican base that he was more a Reagan conservative than he was a “read my lips” pragmatist.

It is harder to imagine Jeb Bush, the fierce defender of his family, ever publicly acknowledging his brother’s failures in a way that would enable him to come across as a different, more capable kind of Bush. When I asked him whether Mr. Obama had a legitimate point — whether his brother’s administration did, in fact, bear responsibility for the country’s economic collapse — Mr. Bush paused and, for the only time in our interview, appeared to carefully assemble his words.

“Look, I think there was a whole series of decisions made over a long period of time, the cumulative effect of which created the financial meltdown that has created the hardship that we’re facing,” he said slowly. “Congress, the administration, everyone can accept some responsibility.”

Everyone, that is, except Jeb's brother.

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Sunday, May 11, 2008

Dream Team or Nightmare?
Posted by Jill | 2:25 PM
I vote for nightmare. After trying mightily to do what she can to make Barack Obama unelectable, from sending black surrogates out to brand him as an ex-drug dealer to telling newspapers that the IMPORTANT people, the WHITE people, will ONLY support HER, Hillary Clinton has not been running the kind of campaign that should be rewarded by giving her the VP nod. And frankly, the so-called "feminists" who are supporting her and threatening to vote for McCain if she isn't nominated ought to be ashamed of themselves, particularly if a President McCain gets to nominate a few more Sammy the Stem Cell Alitos to the Supreme Court and they or their daughters end up back in the coathanger-and-drinking-lye days of reproductive self-determination.

Now it seems she's going to strongarm her way into the #2 spot:

Clinton "is trying to figure out how to land the plane without looking like surrender," a prominent figure in the Obama camp said Friday. This means, in all likelihood, bringing her campaign to a close in the next few weeks and trying to leverage her way onto an Obama ticket from a position of maximum strength, said several knowledgeable sources.

A person close to her, with whom her campaign staff has counseled at various points, said this week, "I think the following will happen: Obama will be in a position where the party declares him the nominee by the first week in June. She'll still be fighting with everybody -- the Rules Committee, the party leaders -- and arguing, 'I'm winning these key states; I've got almost half the delegates. I have a whole constituency he hasn't reached. I've got real differences on approach to how we win this election, and I'm going to press the hell out of this guy. ... Relief for the middle class, universal health care, etc.; I'm Ms. Blue Collar, and I'm going to press my fight, because he can't win without my being on the ticket.' "

Another major Democratic Party figure, who supports her for president, agreed: "It's not going to be a quiet exit. ... Obama has got a terrible situation. He marches to a different drummer. He won't want to take her on the ticket. But he might have to, even though the idea of Vice President Hillary with Bill in the background at the White House is not something -- especially after what [the Clintons] have thrown at him that he relishes. I believe she'll go for it."

However, several important Democrats aligned with Obama predicted that he -- and Michelle Obama -- will vigorously resist any Clinton effort to get on the ticket. Rather, Obama is more likely to try to convince Clinton to either stay in the Senate or accept another position in an Obama administration, should he win the presidency.

Several Clinton associates say there is still a ray of hope among some in her campaign: that a "catastrophic" revelation about Obama might make it possible for her to win the presidential nomination. But barring that, Hillary and Bill Clinton recognize that her candidacy is being abandoned and rejected by superdelegates whom she once expected to win over and that, even if she were to win the popular vote in combined primary states, she will almost certainly be denied the nomination


So the Clintonistas are going to try to dig up dirt on Obama in a final bid to knock him out of the race so they can claim what they think is rightfully theirs, but if they fail, they want to be rewarded with the VP nod?

These people are absolutely despicable. Historically opponents have managed to put aside their differences when one chooses the other for the VP spot. But you never saw John Edwards trashing John Kerry when he was Kerry's running mate. Somehow I can't imagine megalomaniacs like the Clintons suddenly deciding that Obama is OK if Hillary gets the #2 spot. It's more likely that they'll do whatever they can to cut him off at the knees if he's elected, and he'd be a damn fool to fall for it.

You know, I defended the Clintons for eight years when people told me they were dirty, they were corrupt, they were power-mad. But you know what? Maybe they were right.

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