|"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast"
|"The liberal soul shall be made fat, and he that watereth, shall be watered also himself."
-- Proverbs 11:25
After declaring victory in the War on Christmas, Fox News host Bill O'Reilly had another budding battle to discuss: the War on Easter.
O'Reilly takes wars on various holidays quite seriously. Before Christmas last year, O'Reilly invited an atheist leader onto his program, called him a fascist, and argued that Christianity is not a religion but a philosophy.
Like he described during his segments about the War on Christmas, O'Reilly said that "secular progressives" were "running wild" with Obama as president, and were trying to "diminish any kind of religion."
O'Reilly listed five public schools he said are replacing the word "Easter" with the word "Spring." The school are reportedly hosting "Spring Egg Hunts."
"I know it's stupid, you know it's stupid," O'Reilly said. He added that secular progressives were trying to marginalize Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny as an attempt to "set the stage for an entirely secular society, like they have in Scandinavia."
Conservative pundit Laura Ingraham joined O'Reilly on the segment. "I think you're onto something," she said.
Later, O'Reilly laid out his course of action if he were president and dealing with a War on Easter. "You know what I would do if I were president? I'd name the [school] districts we just named here and say 'Knock it off.' Respect Easter. Easter's a good thing. You don't have to believe in Jesus. The kids like it. It's not a spring egg. It's an Easter egg," he said.
I wonder if anyone told Bill O'Reilly that what he's doing is defending pagan symbols? Has anyone ever asked him what duckies and bunnies and eggs have to do with the crucifixion and resurrection? Does he think the risen Jesus was eating Cadbury Cream Eggs while waiting to emerge from the tomb? Or biting the ears off of hollow chocolate bunnies? Does he really want to defend a holiday the name of which is derived from that of a Germanic pagan goddess? Is he aware that the bunnies he's defending from those evil secular humanists were symbols of the pagan spring festival because they, well, fuck like bunnies and reproduce like rabbits? And that eggs are a symbol of fertility? And that what he's really defending is a pagan fertility rite? Yes, the Christians, just as they did with Christmas, decided when they ripped off the pagan Equinox festival, that the eggs and related fertility symbols really represented the resurrection of Christ. But that didn't happen until much, much later.
So what I say is Let the Pagan Symbols fly! Decorate the schools eith eggs and duckies and bunnies! Celebrate the equinox far and wide! Just don't tell Bill O'Reilly that what he's defending is a bunch of Wiccans and Druids.