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Monday, February 11, 2013

Top 10 Reasons For the Pope's Resignation
     Earlier today, Benedict XVI, the 265th Pope, announced to the College of Cardinals that he would resign effective February 28th. The Pontiff cited health reasons and his physical and mental inadequacy to be the spiritual leader of over one billion Catholics worldwide. Yet, there were other reasons for Benedict becoming the first Pope in nearly 600 years to resign while in office. What were they?

 10) Can now finally invest in that condom factory in Berlin.

9) Papal COBRA plan can now cover plastic surgery to make Benedict look less like Emperor Palpatine.

8) Has finally completed funny hat collection.

7) Tired of running Pedophile Priest Underground Railroad.

6) Increasingly difficult to explain stronger and stronger smell of fire and brimstone on person.

5) Sexting Angela Merkle and Heidi Klum with discreetness.

4) Even he can't stand that "old man smell" in glassed-in Popemobile.

3) Former Senator Rick Santorum making him feel inadequate.

2) Michele Bachmann's inexplicable incumbency and the rise of Snooki making him doubt God.

1) More time to write tell-all memoir, HITLER'S OTHER POPE.
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6 Comments:
Anonymous Naomi666 said...
I expect to hear something lurid, unsavory and/or criminal has brought us to this joyous day.

May an atheist shout "halleluha"?

Blogger Blotz said...
‎"Benedict said in a statement today that he was retiring to spend more time searching for his Precious, which was stolen from him by the nasty Baggins."

Blogger Zarathustra said...
I heard he was taking time off to have the Rod surgically removed from his ass!!!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You left out "he wanted to spend more time with his family" [as adulterous politicians say]

Anonymous Naomi666 said...
If he's claiming to be "worn out", I'd suggest he stop wearing his Halloween costume. His "regalia" is encrusted with solid gold! And trade the Prada slippers for thongs. Just don't let any papparazi capture "shoot" you...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You first 3 in closet sumbags don't have any problem bashing the Catholics as with mist liberals the Catholic & Christian Americans are ok to Target, but you wouldn't think of attacking the Moslems or Jews
Assholes ill bet not one of you ever spent a day in US Armed Forces
Maybe you need to Blitz rod from your add....