So here we are again.
As Obama starts stroking that massive, uncut black cock of his in
Syria's general direction, the GOP was screaming that Obama was going to
essentially declare war against a giant bowling pin, aka President
Assad. Then Obama announced while Congress was still in recess until
September 9th that he would first seek Congressional approval before
engaging in any military action vs Syria.
the GOP then said since the President had scuttled their one biggest
chance for writing articles of impeachment in the sick, sad, sorry clown
show that is the House of Representatives.
Of course, what
Obama refused to say, and this is telling, was whether he'd still go to
war with Syria even if the Republicans won't let him get his latest war
on. Because, you know, it's not as if a President has ever gone to war
without Congressional approval by not actually declaring war.
So in the midst of this latest nakedly brazen attempt to enter Iran
through the back door, aka Syria, I took a stroll down the Memory Lane
of my gray matter and recalled Nancy Pelosi's visit as part of a
bipartisan Congressional delegation and how the right wing mouth foamers
went all full tilt Cujo over Pelosi just shaking Assad's hand. Never
mind the fact that a previous delegation comprised heavily of
Republicans went to Syria for the same exact purpose. Pelosi seemed to
cut out Junior when he was busy choking on a pretzel or comparing
himself to actual Presidents or attending GOP fundraisers while ignoring
grieving war mothers.
"It's... it's un-Merican!" they said
as their pointy little heads quickly vibrated from side to side like
something out of a modern B horror movie. They, too, were stroking their
peckers (albeit smaller than Obama's. That particular mystique is true,
by the way) in Syria's general direction, ready to spooge all over the
Middle East as Bush tried to do in his panspermic attempt to ejaculate
democracy all over Iraq and Afghanistan.
The right wing sure
stroked their match-sized woodies, all right, as they convinced
themselves and risibly tried to get the rest of us to believe that,
well, shit, Saddam's WMDs have gotta be somewhere and we know for a fact
they were moved to Syria by Fedex or Three Guys and a Moving Van or
somebody. Invade, invade and Play us Some Wagner
! they hoarsely screamed while friggin' their little woodies and while we were still in the middle of two wars.
Except that never happened. It's not as if the Military Industrial
Complex that, along with Israel and the oil cartels, controls our
foreign policy wanted none of it. They wanted some more of that American
taxpayer pie, some more of those sweet, sweeeeeeeeet cost-plus, no bid
deals that hand John Q. Public double bills for food and fuel and $100
screwdrivers, $500 toilet seats and half-built buildings that never get
No, people, it wasn't as if the MIC was too bloated
and would've thrown up all over itself if we'd tamped a few more tens
of billions of dollars down its bottomless gullet. No, what kept us from
going to war with Syria was when cooler heads prevailed, particularly
Democrats who were already belatedly beginning to, ZOMG, suspect the
Great Pretender in the Oval Office wasn't completely up front and above
board with them as regards Iraq and those many, many oil and gas fields
and, oh yeah, democracy and freedom, blah blah blah.
the Giant Bowling Pin of the Middle East is being a very bad boy and
refuses to fall and is killing all sorts of well-meaning rebels that,
just a few years ago, would've been practically fellated by the GOP. And
now that it looks as if the reports we were hearing about Assad using
chemical weapons on his own people has been just proved to be yet
another MSM hoax, and since Obama is firming that Illinois blackfish and
rattling that fleshy sabre in Assad's direction, now suddenly...
...the Republican Party has no stomach to invade Syria? The Republicans
are now positioning themselves as doves? Really? Seriously?
The GOP's hypocrisy and barely-latent racism knows no bounds and few if any things they've done and said
during this 44th administration betrays this hypocrisy moreso than
what's going on in Syria., a nation whose fortunes one way or the other
do not impact our own and aren't even a major oil-producing country
(although the unrest, you can be sure, is why oil companies seized on
this opportunity to jack up gas prices by a full dime in one fell swoop
this past week).
Assad has been massively unpopular with
right wingers for the simple reason that he doesn't often enough align
his policies with our corporate interests, which is exactly what got
Saddam toppled both literally and figuratively. Assad, just another
tin-plated dictator, is just enough of a statesman to know what a
ravenous pack of feral, bigoted, war-profiteering assclowns Americans
tend to be and had called a spade a spade.
But now suddenly
Republicans are screaming laissez-faire regarding Syria and all because
The Black Guy wants to topple the bowling pin.
Look, folks, I
don't pretend to be an expert in Middle Eastern politics or to even
understand at a high school level what's going on in Syria. I'll leave
such infernally complex geopolitics to the experts like Prof. Juan Cole
and Nick Kristoff. But one fact stands clear: Poll after poll states
that 8 in 10 Americans are opposed to any military adventurism in Syria.
We are a weary nation exhausted from terror alerts and flag-draped
coffins coming off the transports in Dover because we are a nation
that's been at war since October 2001. That means the 7th grade children
starting school next week have never lived in a nation that has not
been at war.
And even if only out of convenience or hypocrisy or racism, when the
Republicans have positioned themselves as doves regarding a country that
only a few Congresses ago they wanted to invade with black helicopters
and Wagner blaring from the speakers, then it goes to show you how far
to the right this administration has effortlessly steered itself with
your knowledge and consent.
And when, not if, when
tells Obama he can't have his war after his summer vacation and he goes
ahead and sends drones and troops there, anyway, liberal heads will be
exploding from coast to coast.
And yours truly will be there
cheerfully keeping count with a pen and clipboard, squee-geeing up the
gray matter and not bothering to look big as I succumb to the urge to
say, "I told you so."