No doubt you've noticed that I've been AWOL for the better part of the last six to eight months. And what a truly shitty time it's been. I suppose it all started late last September when my mother went through her near-death experience. That was followed by an inexorable decline during which my sister did most of the heavy lifting. Then Mom died in December and my vacation time from work was burnt starting the work of going through all the stuff in her house. My two weeks of this barely scratched the surface, and only in the last two weeks was my sister finally able to get now-remodeled house on the market. No sooner did I begin recovering from all this than we hit mid-March, when we found out that Mr. B. has bladder cancer. Since that time, it's been a nonstop whirlwind of procedures, doctor visits, consultations with specialists, CT scans, MRIs, blood tests and ECGs. It's one thing to become familiar with oncology through one's work, when you're building data collection forms and solving site data entry problems and patients are identified by nine-digit numbers. It's quite another when you find out what your own spouse's treatment is going to look like. It may be mildly amusing to tell your manager that "All the Visit folder stuff is being done on Monday", but when that which has been theoretical for five years becomes real in one's own life, one gets a somewhat different perspective on things.
Mr. B. has well-reputed doctors at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Institute handling his case, and so far at least, the information is mostly encouraging. There will be chemotherapy followed by surgery, and it all starts on Tuesday. I will be trying to juggle working full-time during all this, so I will probably have even less time to pay attention to the Doings of the World than I have for the last six months.
What this means for the future of B@B, I don't know. This blog has kept me sane for the better part of a decade, and I'd like to put out a "Best of..." compendium next year when we hit our decaversary. We're not going anywhere for the foreseeable future, and our good blogbuddy jurassicpork will no doubt continue his yeoman work of raging against the machine. I don't always agree with everything he writes, but he's done a great job of keeping the fires burning. Tata and Bob also have the keys to the kingdom, as does Melina. They will possibly pop in from time to time. As for me, I'll also pop in from time to time, but I'm also planning to do some journalling about what's going on, to keep family and friends informed. It won't be here, it will be in a private blog somewhere; I haven't decided where yet. If you are interested in following along, please drop me an e-mail. I can't say I'll give access to everyone, but even if you aren't given access, just know that I appreciate your readership more than you can ever know, and I hope that when we emerge from Cancer Alley, you'll still be with us.
Labels: blogging, cancer, personal musings