Asperger syndrome (AS), also known as Asperger's syndrome or Asperger disorder, is an autism spectrum
disorder (ASD) that is characterized by significant difficulties in
social interaction, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of
behavior and interests - Wikipedia
Listening to the National Rifle Association's Wayne LaPierre blather on
about more guns in the hands of teachers, armed guards in our
elementary schools and how video games are to blame, I'm frankly amazed
that no one's drawn the connection and accused the NRA of having
Asperger Syndrome. After all, their social clumsiness, inability to take
social cues from other humans and repetitive behavior and speech are
part and parcel to the autism that supposedly afflicted Newtown shooter
Adam Lanza.
Aside from paying what was obviously lip service
to the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary that saw 20 children aged six
and seven and eight adults put into early graves, the NRA stubbornly
refuses to meaningfully take some guidance from the unmistakable
social cues from even pro-gun conservatives and parents in general.
Still, LaPierre blathered on about gun rights and trying to deflect the
blame to video games that are played by millions of citizens in many
countries that don't blow each other away to the tune of
tens of thousands every year as we do.
They still couldn't get a clue even after learning, as they surely should have, that during LaPierre's presser,
a gunman in Pennsylvania
was walking up and down a street and randomly shooting at people before
he himself was killed by police. The death toll of that spree killing
was four, small potatoes, obviously, to an NRA that plainly looks at
civilian deaths as acceptable collateral damage regardless of the
extreme youth of the victims. It's the fault of Asperger's sufferers,
it's the fault of video games, it's the fault of violent movies, it's
everyone's fault but their agenda's.
Five days ago,
Slate Magazine
did a study to see how many reported gun fatalities that have taken
place in the US since Newtown on December 14th. The result was over 120,
even though that list is far from exhaustive. Here's another horrifying
statistic: According to the
Brady Center's website,
nearly 100,000 Americans have been shot thus far this year, with, as of
this writing, 146 shot today, the day after Christmas, alone.
The genesis of this ongoing rage against our fellow Americans,
obviously, stems from a highly volatile combination of fear and the
spiritual Viagra a gun puts in those who hold one, especially for the
first time. As Homer Simpson said at a gun shop, "
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power... like God must feel when he's holding a gun."
And the NRA's stubborn refusal to bend to the changing zeitgeist is
very typical of Asperger patients, pathologically repetitive behavior
that gives such gems as the answer to gun violence is more guns, which
is like pouring gasoline on a fire to douse it. Six days ago, the small
town of Harrold, Texas allowed teachers to carry firearms in the schools, a measure that Michigan's viciously right wing governor vetoed at the last minute when the legislature in Lansing voted to do the same. In Newt Gingrich's hometown of Kennesaw, Georgia, it was mandated 30 years ago that its citizens own at least one gun.
And, despite Newtown and the president's impassioned but typically
vague promise to do something about this, nothing significant will
change. The media will not undergo a paradigm shift and all mutually
promise each other and us that they will stop the fear-mongering. The
NRA will not call for stricter gun control measures. We will not stop
buying guns and ammo in bulk, especially as the government provides
massive loopholes, and is forbidden from tracking firearms sales and
likewise is passively watching all this brisk, frenetic activity at gun
shops and gun shows and carrying over its gun-walking, Fast and Furious
operations onto our soil. We're too entrenched in what passes for our
collective belief system, as if we Americans as a whole have Asperger's.
Waco
was brought about when a lunatic leader of an apocalyptic cult known as
the Branch Davidians bought so many guns and so much ammo it eventually
got the attention of the BATF. After waiting for Koresh and company to
stockpile an enormous arsenal and ammo dump, they then knocked on his
door and four agents paid for it with their lives. The standoff, and the
FBI's botched response, cost many dozens more their lives, including,
yes, 20 children (the same student death toll as Newtown) under the age
of 18. The siege eventually claimed 80 lives. That was nearly 20 years
ago yet we're still hearing about people like the lunatic in Indiana who
bought $100,000 of ammunition and nearly four dozen guns and was only
turned up and apprehended when he threatened to shoot up an elementary school just two days after the Newtown massacre.
The government in general and most any administration is typically
loathe to federalize laws that apply to all 50 states. But as with gay
rights, the minimum wage, judicial sentencing and ALEC-inspired "Stand
Your Ground" laws that have virtually become a license to kill, gun
control, such as it is, is a patchwork quilt of laws, make believe laws
and no laws that varies from state to state. As stated earlier, a small
town in Georgia mandates carrying a firearm while New York City, home of
some of the strictest
gun control laws in the nation, has for decades forbidden citizens from
owning and carrying guns within city limits.
Considering that 100,000 Americans get shot and over 30,000 die from
gunshots annually, exponentially more than all the other industrialized
nations of the world combined, this is one issue on which the federal
government should take point and codify at the federal level.
Mope.
What many gun owners are could be better defined as gun perverts. They make a fetish of their guns. They take their guns out and oil them. They take a long rod, insert it into the barrel of the gun and push it back and forth, back and forth – they say to clean it. The similarity between what happens when a gun fires and an orgasm is self-evident, except that the gun firing creates a more powerful burst that travels further and at a higher velocity. Thus the feeling of power to those who otherwise would feel politically and socially impotent.
Like perv rapists and child murderers, gun perverts have a tendency to blame the victim, as in, "if the victims had taken the trouble to arm themselves, they'd still be here."
Even when one of the gun perverts kills himself, he usually does it by fellating the barrel and pulling the trigger.
They are gun perverts. Perverts. Perverts. If sexual child abusers tried to lobby our lawmakers, we would very quickly find ways to toss them in the pokey. Let's do the same with the perverts who are having affairs with their guns.
Very crankily yours,
The New York Crank