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Saturday, August 11, 2012

Lurch Meets Eddie Munster

What a ticket.

Even before the announcement has been made official, the completely worthless and endlessly fellating MSM are already waxing rhapsodic over Willard Romney picking Paul Ryan as his running mate. Ryan is an "up-and-coming" young Republican, a "conservative intellectual" (how anyone, in this prequel of Idiocracy, can say that with a straight face, as if it's an actual tautology, will forever elude me) and at how Ryan is (yes, someone in the press actually used the phrase even after the HBO movie about Sarah Palin) "a game-changer."

Personally, I don't see it. Even though Ryan is a House Budget Committee Chairman, a title that, given Ryan's obsession with Ayn Rand, is sort of like letting Michael Vick run a Buddy Dog, Ryan is completely indistinguishable from all the other Republican psychopaths that have been running roughshod over union workers and other middle class people all over Wisconsin. Geographically, the choice of Ryan makes little sense. Wisconsin and Romney's home state of Michigan border and a running mate historically is primarily chosen to shore up support in a part of the country where it's lacking for the nominee (the most infamous and possibly cynical delineation of this is Kennedy's choice of Texan Lyndon Johnson since Kennedy was notoriously weak in the south). Concentrating the ticket in the two northernmost states makes little sense from a demographic point of view.

Plus, Romney's chosen a guy who, like all Republicans, has his own issues and hypocrisies to deal with. Having once famously said that the Bush administration made him sick to his stomach, Ryan then turned around and, like a good little Republican, voted in virtual lockstep for the Bush administration's simultaneous push for two budget-busting wars and two budget-busting tax cuts, the first time that's been done in American history.

Ryan nowadays is acting like a straight porn actor furiously brushing his teeth after a blow job in a gay XXX film and feigning regret but the fact is Ryan thinks our "path to prosperity" is through austerity means and publicly gets the dry heaves at the thought of raising taxes by so much as 1% on the 1%.

Plus, will Ryan pull a Lieberman and run for VP and his Congressional seat simultaneously or will he let it all ride and give up his chairmanship and House seat? Frankly, even though Ryan's been Willard's BFF, I just don't see Paul Ryan betting that much on their ticket, especially since his seat in Wisconsin's 1st district is a reliably red one.

Ryan may lend some much-needed humanity and charm (or the Republican analogue of it) to the ticket. But as for him being "a game-changer"? Ho hum. I'd rather watch Olympic rowing.
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