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Friday, August 03, 2012

Top 10 Things Mitt May be Hiding in His Tax Returns

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) recently revealed that a former Bain Capital investor informed him that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney did not pay any taxes whatsoever for a 10 year period. The Romney camp fired back that he "paid a lot of taxes every year" and demanded that Mr. Reid reveal who his confidential source is without making a counter offer to release the presumptive GOP nominee's missing tax returns. But Senator Reid's confidential source said there were other reasons why Mitt Romney won't release more than his 2010 return and an estimate for last year. What were they?

  • 10) Destruction of gubernatorial administration's hard drives and shredding of documents for "political security."

  • 9) Reference to a Quality Control Certificate of Compliance instead of a birth certificate proving he was manufactured by the Weyland Corporation.

  • 8) Another $20,000 a year in deductions for horse stable muckings, all filed under the heading of "Governor's Economic Plan For the Poor."

  • 7) Last year tried to claim every one of his bought Twitter followers as dependents.

  • 6) Blind trust in the Caymans under Rafalca's sire's name.

  • 5) 47 trips to the Cayman Islands and Switzerland dubbed "tax-dodging business expenses."

  • 4) Over $100,000 for Ann Romney's "Cunt Finishing School."

  • 3) In 2007, federal government actually sent Romney a $231,000 tax rebate for "reprogramming and polyurethane skin replacement."

  • 2) An unintentional pun claiming that Seamus was entitled to a $26,000 tax credit as "an overhead expense."

  • 1) 20 trips to Bali and Bohemian Grove for those human sacrifice rituals that were written off as "entertainment expenses."
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