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Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Mitt Romney's Top Ten Wild & Crazy Moments
Ann Romney, the wife of GOP presidential frontrunner Mitt Romney, said on CBS yesterday that her husband Mitt was one "wild and crazy guy." As well as saying last month that “we better unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out,” Mrs. Romney seems determined to disprove the public perception that her husband is too stiff and out of touch with the average voter. But during the commercial break, Ann Romney detailed some examples of how "wild and crazy" her husband is. What were they?
  • 10) Once insisted on not eating his Iowa corndog with a knife and fork.
  • 9) In high school, once played the statue in DON GIOVANNI.
  • 8) In '93, went on a 6 state murder spree because someone called him 'a wild & crazy guy.'
  • 7) In a daring example of patriotism, eventually decided not to conduct business with the family of Osama bin Laden.
  • 6) Once unzipped himself in front of a bunch of first graders.
  • 5) Once laid off 500 workers in Reno and outsourced their jobs just to see them cry.
  • 4) Once insisted on having sex without his tie.
  • 3) Once won a staring contest with a Brooks Brothers mannequin.
  • 2) Bain Capital once owned a lingerie shop called JOSEPH SMITH'S SECRET.
  • 1) Once strapped a dumb animal to the roof of his car for several hundred miles.
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    Anonymous Ahab said...
    There should be a moratorium on using the words "Romney" and "unzip" in the same sentence.

    :: shudders ::

    Anyway, when I think of Joseph Smith's Secrets, I get a mental image of lacy, red satin Mormon underware. Nothing says seductive like silk Union suits!

    Blogger Jimbo said...
    Spent a summer as a teenager cutting the tops of all the trees in Michigan so they would all be the right height.

    Anonymous Anonymous said...
    7) In a daring example of patriotism, eventually decided not to conduct business with the family of Osama bin Laden.

    Which puts him one step above the Bush crime family.