| "Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast" -Oscar Wilde |
 |
"The liberal soul shall be made fat, and he that watereth, shall be watered also himself." -- Proverbs 11:25 |
"...you have a choice: be a fighting liberal or sit quietly. I know what I am, what are you?" -- Steve Gilliard, 1964 - 2007
"For straight up monster-stomping goodness, nothing makes smoke shoot out my ears like Brilliant@Breakfast" -- Tata
"...the best bleacher bum since Pete Axthelm" -- Randy K.
"I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (1954-2015), They Live
"For straight up monster-stomping goodness, nothing makes smoke shoot out my ears like Brilliant@Breakfast" -- Tata
"...the best bleacher bum since Pete Axthelm" -- Randy K.
"I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (1954-2015), They Live
Brilliant Recent Posts
Afghanistan: The COIN Op WarBrilliant at Television: True Blood
Out With the Old, in With the Old
Why does Mike Huckabee spend so much time thinking...
Matt Bai performs journalistic fellatio on Jeb Bush
I'm surprised they didn't make him wear a pink tri...
While the wingnuts are having the vapors over Stan...
These are the people the Republicans want us to th...
Politicians Are Dogs, Corporations Are Cats
What do you expect when one political party embrac...
Brilliant at Searching
Brilliant Stuff to Buy
What's on my mind:
Brilliant Archives
Brilliant at Begging
Like what you read?Please consider supporting B@B with a donation: There is no gift like the present.
But gifts are nice too:
Feed Me!
Stuff You Must Read
Friday, June 25, 2010
How the hell did this happen????
Today is my 55th birthday.
55
Fifty-fucking five.
That's the age when state governments let you retire. (Too bad I haven't spent my life working for the state.)
It's also another of those "five" birthdays that lets you know that you are closer to the next decade milepost than you are to the previous. It's one thing to say that 50 is the new 30. (It isn't.) It's quite another to try to get away with saying that sixty makes you still a kid. (You aren't.)
I've never been one to lie about my age. I don't care how much plastic surgery you have, or how much botox you have, none of it is going to make you one iota younger. Sooner or later, you are going to make a reference to the Beatles appearing for the first time on the Ed Sullivan Show and you're going to give yourself away. When I was laid off in 2008, I put my year of college graduation back on my resume. The way I figured it, I was going to be depressed enough about job-hunting; why create a situation where I'd get all dressed up and hopeful about going to an interview and then the minute the 25-year-old interviewer got a look at me and his/her face fell, knowing that I had zero chance at the job and had to go through the interview anyway. If a company was going to rule me out because of my age, I wanted to know up-front, before I waste my time. (P.S. I got a job anyway.)
For the last fifteen years, I've kind of reveled in being middle-aged. When I hit 40, I realized that I was finally comfortable in my own skin. It was as if I'd been forty since I was twelve, and my chronological age had finally caught up with my mental one. The forties are great. You still look relatively good, you feel good, and you can still delude yourself that you have some youth left. At fifty-five, you can't.
That's not necessarily a bad thing. For those of us who were never "hot babes", losing our looks is less painful than it is for some others. Most of us have had to develop a sense of humor, or a musical talent, or a nurturing nature, because our packaging wasn't going to serve us to draw others to us. The invisibility of being an aging woman isn't all bad. I used to feel unable to go out without full makeup, or be unwilling to be seen in a Pathmark alone on a Saturday night. How silly is that? Aging gives us the freedom to Just Not Give a Shit. Except that we often still do. We do because we're still human. We do because if we allow it to, experience gives us wisdom. And there are worse things to be than the cool old lady that younger people go to for advice, or to just talk to. Society may wish us to just go away, but that doesn't mean we have to.
And so I am not depressed today. It is sometimes disconcerting to realize that "It's all downhill from here" -- and not in a good way. There are real worries about getting older in our society today, not the least of which is the financial one. In true "Nixon goes to China" fashion, our Democratic President seems bound and determined, as Sam Seder notes in his latest podcast, to prepare for his post-presidency Wall Street job by sucking up to those who would eliminate Social Security. Participation in a 401(k) is one thing, but you're trusting your money to the same people who brought down the economy in the first place. There are health care issues. People in my family have a habit of living into our nineties. That doesn't mean we never need health care. Being old in our society is not something to look forward to, but it's better than the alternative -- or so we can hope.
But today I have made it in this God-forsaken level of reality for fifty-five years. I'll take that deal.
55
Fifty-fucking five.
That's the age when state governments let you retire. (Too bad I haven't spent my life working for the state.)
It's also another of those "five" birthdays that lets you know that you are closer to the next decade milepost than you are to the previous. It's one thing to say that 50 is the new 30. (It isn't.) It's quite another to try to get away with saying that sixty makes you still a kid. (You aren't.)
I've never been one to lie about my age. I don't care how much plastic surgery you have, or how much botox you have, none of it is going to make you one iota younger. Sooner or later, you are going to make a reference to the Beatles appearing for the first time on the Ed Sullivan Show and you're going to give yourself away. When I was laid off in 2008, I put my year of college graduation back on my resume. The way I figured it, I was going to be depressed enough about job-hunting; why create a situation where I'd get all dressed up and hopeful about going to an interview and then the minute the 25-year-old interviewer got a look at me and his/her face fell, knowing that I had zero chance at the job and had to go through the interview anyway. If a company was going to rule me out because of my age, I wanted to know up-front, before I waste my time. (P.S. I got a job anyway.)
For the last fifteen years, I've kind of reveled in being middle-aged. When I hit 40, I realized that I was finally comfortable in my own skin. It was as if I'd been forty since I was twelve, and my chronological age had finally caught up with my mental one. The forties are great. You still look relatively good, you feel good, and you can still delude yourself that you have some youth left. At fifty-five, you can't.
That's not necessarily a bad thing. For those of us who were never "hot babes", losing our looks is less painful than it is for some others. Most of us have had to develop a sense of humor, or a musical talent, or a nurturing nature, because our packaging wasn't going to serve us to draw others to us. The invisibility of being an aging woman isn't all bad. I used to feel unable to go out without full makeup, or be unwilling to be seen in a Pathmark alone on a Saturday night. How silly is that? Aging gives us the freedom to Just Not Give a Shit. Except that we often still do. We do because we're still human. We do because if we allow it to, experience gives us wisdom. And there are worse things to be than the cool old lady that younger people go to for advice, or to just talk to. Society may wish us to just go away, but that doesn't mean we have to.
And so I am not depressed today. It is sometimes disconcerting to realize that "It's all downhill from here" -- and not in a good way. There are real worries about getting older in our society today, not the least of which is the financial one. In true "Nixon goes to China" fashion, our Democratic President seems bound and determined, as Sam Seder notes in his latest podcast, to prepare for his post-presidency Wall Street job by sucking up to those who would eliminate Social Security. Participation in a 401(k) is one thing, but you're trusting your money to the same people who brought down the economy in the first place. There are health care issues. People in my family have a habit of living into our nineties. That doesn't mean we never need health care. Being old in our society is not something to look forward to, but it's better than the alternative -- or so we can hope.
But today I have made it in this God-forsaken level of reality for fifty-five years. I'll take that deal.
Labels: personal musings
17 Comments:
Other Brilliant Bloggers
DriftglassCorrente
Hullabaloo
Hoffmania
Orcinus
Scoobie Davis
Talking Points Memo
World O'Crap
Fact-esque
Liberal Oasis
Oliver Willis
Talk Left
This Modern World
Philip Barron
Rising Hegemon
AMERICABlog
James Wolcott
Skippy the Bush Kangaroo
Dependable Renegade
The Political Carnival
Astrological Musings
Firedoglake
Spiiderweb
Words of Power
RIPCoco
Kung Fu Monkey
Empire Burlesque
WTF is it Now
Down With Tyranny
Welcome Back to Pottersvillle
Spocko's Brain
The Sideshow
The Ostroy Report
Fallenmonk
Three Wise Men
NewsHoggers
Blue Gal
Blah3
Shadow of the Hegemon
Slacktivist
ShortWoman
Echidne of the Snakes
Jesus' General
My Left Wing
Arthur Silber
Republic of T
Bitch Ph.D
The American Street
Comments from Left Field
Balloon Juice
I Can't Believe It's Not a Democracy
Scholars and Rogues
On My Mind
PhysioProf
The Vulgar Curmudgeon
Monkeyfister
Sasha Undercover
ThePoliticalCat
Fables of the Reconstruction
Talk2Action
D-Day
State of the Day
Just an Earth-Bound Misfit
Bradblog
They Gave Us a Republic
Vagabond Scholar
Seeing the Forest
The Reaction
Orcinus
SteveAudio
Princess Sparkle Pony
Paul Levinson
Politics After 50
The Jed Report
One Utah
Sam Seder
Alternet
The Political Carnival
County Fair
Mudflats
A Feather Adrift
That's Why
Disciples of Joe
No Longer Quivering
Margaret and Helen
Stand With Dr. Dean
All the Good Names Were Taken
Badtux the Snarky Penguin
My Mental Dumping Ground
Legal Schnauzer
Alicublog
Bouphonia
Konagod
The Reverse Spin
City of Angels
The Gospel According to Hate
Menopausal Stoners
Stinque
The New York Crank
BP Oil Slick
Pen-Elayne
Inside-Out the Beltway
Reclusive Leftist
Southern Beale
The Moderate Voice
The Rant
Help the 99ers
Brendan Calling
Matt Taibbi
I Was Told There Would Be Bacon
We Don't Agree, But...
ShortWoman
of mule dung and ash
Cookies in Heaven
The Hunting of the Snark
The Policy Page (Rick Ungar)
Ramona's Voices
Sardonicky
Dagblog
The Titanic Sails At Dawn
Cheese Food Nation
Donkey Mountain
Thump and Whip
Under the Lobsterscope
Addicting Info
Wifely Person
Disaffected and it Feels So Good
Reality Chex
Burnt Orange Report
Salmon Alley
The Politics Blog w/Charles Pierce
Elizabitchez
We Are The 99 Percent.
Republic of Gilead
amigoingsomeplace
Fukushima Diary
The Polygon
Degringolade
Onyx Lynx
Parsley's Pics
Mainmati
Brandflakes for Breakfast
The Economic Populist
Liberal Dan
Ex-Amish Atheist
The Poor Man's Huffington Post
Constant Commoner
Channel Surfing
Big Bad Bald Bastard
Panic in Funland (Tbogg!!!)
Weird Wally's Worldview
Brilliant Furriners
Because we all may have to live somewhere else someday.The Galloping Beaver (Canada)
Cathie from Canada
How This Old Brit Sees It ...
Stunner's Afflictions (Jamaica)
Jamaican Lifestyle
Heathers
Pulling up the ladderbehind them
Daily Kos
Atrios
Open Left
CeleBloggers
Roger EbertDispatches from the Island &
Further Dispatches
(Jorge Garcia)
Baseball Nerd
(Keith Olbermann)
FOK News Channel (ditto)
Brilliant at Tweeting
(We won't do it, but we'll follow them)Marc Maron
Sam Seder
Brendan McDonald
Johnny Weir
Melina
Lynn
Keith Olbermann
In Memoriam
(yes, we're getting tired of having to do this)
Break Room Live archives
Morning Sedition 3/04-12/05
A Brilliant Radio Show -
Morning Seditionists
Camp Butch (all the
Sedition you can eat)
Jim Earl and his
Big Page of Crap
Morning Remembrance
Steve Gilliard 1966-2007:
A Brilliant Blogger
The News Blog archive
NetSlaves article archive
Friends of Steve:
The Group News Blog
"Jon Swift" (Al Weisel) 1963-2010
Bats Left Throws Right (Doghouse Riley)
Brilliant at Disappearing
Maybe they've been raptured?Altercation
The All-Spin Zone
Baghdad Burning
Carrie's Nation
Little Country Lost
Cynical Nation
Pam's House Blend
photos1.blogger.com/blogger/397/497/320/bb_banner.1.jpg]^23004A00]coral]navy],](](]]]black],]3]8]20]1]2]3]3]1]2]3]1]1],](](]^235E3D00])])]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)photos1.blogger.com/blogger/397/497/320/bb_banner.1.jpg^22]^22...you^20have^20a^20choice^3A^20be^20a^20fighting^20liberal^20or^20sit^20quietly.^20I^20know^20what^20I^20am^2C^20what^20are^20you^3F^22^20--^20^3Ca^20href^3D^22)stevegilliard.blogspot.com/2003/12/im-fighting-liberal-you-know-ive.html^22^20STYLE^3D^22color^3Awhite^3B^22^3ESteve^20Gilliard^2C^201966^20-^202007^3C/a^3E^3CBR^3E^22For^20straight^20up^20monster-stomping^20goodness^2C^20nothing^20makes^20smoke^20shoot^20out^20my^20ears^20like^20Brilliant@Breakfast^22^20--^20^3Ca^20href^3D^22)www.poorimpulsecontrol.net/blog^22^20STYLE^3D^22color^3Awhite^3B^22^3ETata^3C/a^3E],](],](](]black](](](]^23FDF2D7](](](]^23333](](](],]50]20],](](]^23FFF8DD])])]black]1.5]15],](](]^2398A45C])])]black]^23FFF8DD])])]^23666]30]^235E3E1A]^23622121],](](]^235E3E1A](],](]^235E3E1A]^23039]^2306C],](](]^23FFF8DD])])],](](]^23FFF8DD])])],](](]^23FFF8DD])])],](]^235E3E1A]^23666]15]3]25]20]^23808C43],](](],](],](](],](]black](](](],](](](],]^235C3E11](](](],](](]^23211104](](](](](],]^2336F]^23211104](],](]Posted^20by^20^24AUTH^20^7C^20^24TIME]20],](](]^23FFF8DD])])]^23FFF8DD])])]^23666]30]^235E3E1A]^23622121],](](]^235E3E1A](],](]^23333]^23039]^2306C]Contact]]]Home]^24HOME]First^20Page]Email^3A^3CBR^3Ebrilliantatbreakfast^20at^20gmail^20dot^20com]]]RSS]^24RSS]RSS^20Feed]Your^20Servers]]]Jill]rilliantatbreakfast.blogspot.com]]Melina])www.ripcoco.com]RIPCoco]Carrie])carriesnation.blogspot.com]Carrie^27s^20Nation]And^20occasionally...]]]jurassicpork])welcome-to-pottersville.blogspot.com]Welcome^20to^20Pottersville]Bob])bobrixon.blogspot.com]The^20Rix^20Mix]Tata])www.poorimpulsecontrol.net/blog]Poor^20Impulse^20Control]Spiiderweb])spiiderweb.blogspot.com]Spiiderweb]Other^20Brilliant^20Bloggers]]]Modern^20Fabulousity])modernfabulousity.blogspot.com]Modern^20Fabulousity]Pandagon])www.pandagon.net]Pandagon]Altercation])www.mediamatters.org/altercation]Altercation]Corrente])www.correntewire.com/]Corrente]Hullabaloo])digbysblog.blogspot.com]Hullabaloo]Hoffmania])www.hoffmania.com]Hoffmania]Orcinus])dneiwert.blogspot.com]Orcinus]Scoobie^20Davis])scoobiedavis.blogspot.com]Scoobie^20Davis]Talking^20Points^20Memo])talkingpointsmemo.com]Talking^20Points^20Memo]World^20O^27Crap])world-o-crap.com/blog]World^20O^27Crap]Fact-esque])casadelogo.typepad.com/factesque/]Fact-esque]Liberal^20Oasis])www.liberaloasis.com/]Liberal^20Oasis]Oliver^20Willis])www.oliverwillis.com/]Oliver^20Willis]Talk^20Left])www.talkleft.com/]Talk^20Left]The^20Talent^20Show])www.thetalentshow.org/]The^20Talent^20Show]Waveflux])www.waveflux.net]Waveflux]Rising^20Hegemon])rising-hegemon.blogspot.com/]Rising^20Hegemon]The^20Poor^20Man])www.thepoorman.net/]The^20Poor^20Man]AMERICABlog])www.americablog.org/]AMERICABlog]Needlenose])www.needlenose.com/]Needlenose]Brilliant^20NJ^20bloggers]]]^24ARCHIVE]^20]]Friends]]]Horm])blog.horm.org]Hallucinations^20Of^20Reabsorbed^20Mind]Phorm])p.horm.org]Another^20Phormation]Etc]]]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)psyc.horm.org/barimg/bar_psycho.png^22^20width^3D^2280^22^20height^3D^2215^22^20alt^3D^22PsycHo^3A^20Free^20Template^20Generator^22^20style^3D^22border^3A^200px^20solid^20black^22^20/^3E]^24PSYCHO]PsycHo^3A^20Free^20Template^20Generator]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)psyc.horm.org/barimg/bar_firefox.png^22^20width^3D^2280^22^20height^3D^2215^22^20alt^3D^22Get^20FireFox^21^22^20style^3D^22border^3A^200px^20solid^20black^22^20/^3E])www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/]Get^20Firefox^21]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)psyc.horm.org/barimg/bar_xhtml.png^22^20width^3D^2280^22^20height^3D^2215^22^20alt^3D^22XHTML^20Validator^22^20style^3D^22border^3A^200px^20solid^20black^22^20/^3E])validator.w3.org/check/referer]XHTML^20Validator]]]]Home]^24HOME]First^20Page]Email]^24EMAIL]Mail^20me^21]RSS]^24RSS]RSS^20Feed]Archive]]]^24ARCHIVE]^20]]Friends]]]Horm])blog.horm.org]Hallucinations^20Of^20Reabsorbed^20Mind]Phorm])p.horm.org]Another^20Phormation]Etc]]]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)psyc.horm.org/barimg/bar_psycho.png^22^20width^3D^2280^22^20height^3D^2215^22^20alt^3D^22PsycHo^3A^20Free^20Template^20Generator^22^20style^3D^22border^3A^200px^20solid^20black^22^20/^3E]^24PSYCHO]PsycHo^3A^20Free^20Template^20Generator]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)psyc.horm.org/barimg/bar_firefox.png^22^20width^3D^2280^22^20height^3D^2215^22^20alt^3D^22Get^20FireFox^21^22^20style^3D^22border^3A^200px^20solid^20black^22^20/^3E])www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/]Get^20Firefox^21]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)psyc.horm.org/barimg/bar_xhtml.png^22^20width^3D^2280^22^20height^3D^2215^22^20alt^3D^22XHTML^20Validator^22^20style^3D^22border^3A^200px^20solid^20black^22^20/^3E])validator.w3.org/check/referer]XHTML^20Validator^26^2361470^3BPsycHo}){kind=small}
Teri
About the age of 30, I got sick of people telling me "Oh, I thought you were older than that."
I just added 10 years to my age, now I get "Oh, you look great. I thought you were younger than that."
Sorry that you are so upset.
If you have your health, family and love, what else matters?
Busted
Love,
R
I turn 55 in August, so thank you for this. You summed up my own feelings very well. Including that my own family tends to live long too. My mom is 90, my dad is 87, they're both hanging in there. (I've had two centenarians in my family's recent past.)
Yeah, I did see the fucking Beatles on Ed Sullivan! Wanna make something out of it, ya whippersnapper?
You should know that I've always looked up to you, looks-wise. In our '20s you were far prettier than me, and I haven't grown any more attractive with age. :)
I was depressed at 50, that was the year that my best friend and dad both died and I had no party nor any reason to celebrate, but since then it's just been "glad I made it another year."