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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The General Excommunicated?
Posted by jurassicpork | 8:38 AM

To whom it may concern:

I'd like to know why Patriot Boy (aka Jesus' General) was banned from your website. The General, who is an 11 on a manly scale of absolute gender, has been nothing but a throbbing pillar of support for Pastor Steven Anderson and during the most trying times of both their lives. I'm speaking, of course, of the time the Border police beat the shit out of him when he stood up for his somewhat vague rights and then when he openly wished for the President to die and then when he sent a man named Chris Broughton to an Obama gun rally with an AR 15 (Oh sorry. It wasn't a gun rally. It was a Town Hall on health care reform. My bad).


The point I'm making is that I think you have banned him for the wrong reasons. Just because he oils up like a Spartan of old and wrestles other manly men and his fist occasionally (and purely by accident, of course) winds up in the tight rectum of another hard-bodied, glistening male it does not make him a homosexual.

Therefore. I must issue an ultimatum: Either you reinstate the General immediately or I will be forced to abandon Mr. Anderson's glorified cult, as good as the butter cookies are (the ones made by his wife whose vagina doubles as a clown car). And in that case I will join Michael Parks' somewhat more even-keeled religion as that seen in the Kevin Smith movie, Red State.

I await your reply with baited breath.

JP (aka Jurassicpork)
2 comments
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2 Comments:
Blogger Pangolin said...
Thank Dog this guy wasn't a youth pastor. He'd have had the bible study group doing bisexual bondage porn.

Ok, somewhere in america the youth pastor does have the bible study group doing bisexual bondage porn for christ. It's just a matter of time before that comes to light.
11/30/11, 1:39 PM  
Blogger Phil said...
Are you fucking kidding me?

Jesus General Banned from a public discourse?

I shall forthsooth put that man on my Blogroll as it is way the fuck overdue, his sweaty man parts, who are a twelve on an a scale of masculinity, deserve no less.

His manly messages need to be spread, wide, and often.
12/1/11, 12:45 AM  
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