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Friday, April 15, 2011

Posted by Jill | 5:32 AM
In a country gone completely, utterly, batshit crazy, Arizona is even crazier than the rest of it:
The Arizona Senate formally passed the "Birther Bill" today, but not in its original version.

Apparently, requiring presidential candidates to provide a long-form birth certificate before allowing their names on the ballot in Arizona -- despite it already being a federal requirement to run for president -- was a bit too much for a few GOP lawmakers. So they made some amendments: if you can't find your birth certificate, and you have a penis, a document describing your lack of foreskin will suffice.

A circumcision certificate -- a document given to the parents of a male Jewish child after his foreskin is snipped off during a circumcision ceremony --  is not a legal document (see an example of one here)
but if you have one, under the amended bill, it's apparently enough to prove you're a U.S. citizen and your name can be permitted on the ballot in Arizona.

Pulling out your penis in front of election officials, however, will not prove citizenship -- and, in the worst case scenario, could get you labeled a sex offender.

Some other ways to prove that you're not a Kenyan version of the
Manchurian Candidate, as spelled out in the ridiculous bill, could be to provide a hospital birth record, a postpartum medical record, or an early census record.

The above is NOT from The Onion.

So a state government-issued birth certificate from the state of Hawaii won't suffice, but an easily-forged medical record or certificate from a mohel will? Why don't they don't just come out and pass a bill saying "Black Democrats may not be on the ballot in Arizona"? It would be a lot less complicated and a lot closer to the true spirit of this ridiculous law.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...
Moslems also get circumsized, so wouldn't the state have to accept a certificate from an ayatollah ?

But wouldn't that be Sharia law ?