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Thursday, August 12, 2004

I want a world where this is unnecessary
Posted by Jill | 5:15 PM
NJ Governor James McGreevey, today:


Throughout my life, I have grappled with my own identity, who I am. As a young child, I often felt ambivalent about myself, in fact, confused.

[snip]

Yet, from my early days in school, until the present day, I acknowledged some feelings, a certain sense that separated me from others. But because of my resolve, and also thinking that I was doing the right thing, I forced what I thought was an acceptable reality onto myself, a reality which is layered and layered with all the, quote, good things, and all the, quote, right things of typical adolescent and adult behavior.

At a point in every person's life, one has to look deeply into the mirror of one's soul and decide one's unique truth in the world, not as we may want to see it or hope to see it, but as it is.

And so my truth is that I am a gay American. And I am blessed to live in the greatest nation with the tradition of civil liberties, the greatest tradition of civil liberties in the world, in a country which provides so much to its people.



Full transcript here.

First let's get the obvious stuff out of the way. McGreevey was already damaged goods, what with the hot and cold running scandals surrounding seemingly just about everyone around him. Last year at my first Dean Meetup, I told party regulars that they simply HAD to find someone other than McGreevey to nominate for governor next year because otherwise the next governor would be named "Bret Schundler."

So even before all this, McGreevey had to go.

I don't quite know what happened here. Atrios says rightly, "Either there is merit to the sexual harassment charges, or we've had a (previously) closeted governor resign over what amounted to an outing threat."

At the very least, McGreevey is guilty not just of the "Don't shit where you eat" rule, but quite possibly of thinking with the wrong head to the point of giving his lover a position for which he wasn't qualified. Regardless of the genders or sexual orientations of the people involved, this is just not smart.

But this isn't what the water carriers for the Republican party otherwise known as the Mainstream Media are going to focus on. They're going to focus exclusively on the gay angle, in an attempt to draw direct lines between unethical behavior and sexual orientation, and that would be not just unfortunate, but unfair.

Read McGreevey's farewell speech for yourself before you judge. Then imagine spending your entire life trying to be someone other than who you are. Imagine trying to fit into a society that reviles people like you. Imagine coming of age in the years before Stonewall, before gay pride. Imagine all this at the same time you're a Roman Catholic. What a terrible way to live.

Wouldn't it be better if, instead of forcing gay Americans into a box into which they don't fit, we could just accept people as they are? Wouldn't it be better to have a society in which people didn't have to feel ashamed of who they are and who they love? Wouldn't it be better if gay Americans could just be gay instead of having to come out on national television, with their partners in straight marriage in tow?

I'm a straight, white, suburban white woman, in a straight, white, suburban marriage. I have seen very dear friends take the same journey that James McGreevey has taken; a journey through doubt, lies, family trauma, and finally, self-knowledge and happness for the first time in their lives. I have other friends who want simply the same thing I have -- to have the bond they share with their partners recognized by the state so that they can enjoy the same rights I take for granted. Not one of these people threatens my marriage in any way. And they don't threaten yours either.

In a just world, McGreevey's revelation would help people to understand just how impossible and counterproductive "passing for straight" really is. In a just world, people would see the pain behind the governor's words. But we don't live in a just world. And so the baying dogs on the right will instead indulge their salacious fantasies, hounding this man and his family to the ends of the earth. Because that's what sells.
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