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Monday, October 31, 2011

Top 10 Herman Cain Pickup Lines

Last night, it was reported in Politico and elsewhere that frontrunning Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain had allegedly sexually harassed two women who'd worked under him at the National Restaurant Association. The Cain campaign vigorously denies the allegations despite being ignorant about an undisclosed payout that also came with a nondisclosure agreement. Among the allegations were the tactics that Mr. Cain used to harass the women. What were they?

  • 10) "Take me to bed, bitch, and you won't have to wait 30 minutes!"

  • 9) "Let's go up to my place so I can explain my 69-69-69 tax plan to ya."

  • 8) "I'm up for anything, honey, except cunnilingus. I don't do anchovies."

  • 7) "Sweetheart, I'm so good in bed, even Mark Block has to have a cigarette afterwards."

  • 6) "I bet you never been Cained by a Georgia blacksnake before."

  • 5) "Bitch, I'll make you an offer you can't refuse!"

  • 4) "I'm Cain if you're Able, baby."

  • 3) "Baby, I got me a pumpernickle bread stick you'll wanna tell your mama about!"

  • 2) "I bet you never had white sauce like mine!"

  • 1) "I got a riddle, baby: What do me and a Godfather's pizza have in common? We're both hot and come in a box!"
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    Blogger Pangolin said...
    OK.....ICK !!!1!one!!11!

    Jesus Christ on a pogo stick; how am I supposed to scrub THAT out of my brain?

    Blogger Fixer said...
    Heh, JP. #8 and #9 are contradictory but then so is Herman.