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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Thursday Big Blue Smurf Blogging: What They Said
Posted by Jill | 5:30 PM
Today's honoree: Kate Harding, for her sound advice to Oprah Winfrey.

Money quote:
I could sit here and tell you how I went on Lexapro, and I started eating out more and resumed putting the dressing directly on my salads and slacked somewhat on exercise — in a nutshell, how I gave up dieting as a part-time job and relegated food and exercise back to the category of ”things I think about, just not to the exclusion of having a life” — but the real reason for the weight gain is, I’m just not that special. I do not have magic powers that allow me to transcend my genetic predisposition to fatness, and I was not so much more committed or determined or desirous of thinness than everyone else who diets that I could somehow, through sheer will, overcome the massive odds against keeping it off for more than five years. I’m just not that special.

Neither are you, in that regard. We’re both plenty special in other ways — I mean, love you or hate you, I don’t think there’s anyone who would argue that you’re not an extraordinary woman — but just not that way. In that way, we’re both just normal fat women who dieted and gained it back and dieted and gained it back and dieted and gained it back, as normal fat women do. But here’s the difference between you and me, when it comes to that. You hit 200 and sent out a press release detailing your shame, embarrassment, and anger at yourself. I hit 200 and shrugged. Because it’s not any different than being 199, and not really any different from being 185, and when it comes down to it, not all that much different than being 115. I can’t shop at as many stores, I don’t get hit on quite as often (though I still do, as recently as Sunday night), some people aren’t as friendly to me, and some people are downright hateful in ways they wouldn’t have been when I was thin. But as trite as it may sound, this is the damned truth: I’m still the same person I was when I was thin — and when I was in-between, and the day before I cracked 200, and the day after.

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2 Comments:
Blogger Rhode Island Rules said...
AMEN.
Although that is one of the things that drives us to try to be thing again - to be taken seriously and not thought of as stupid.

I was 123 lbs on my wedding day in 1977 and I would not even try on a sleeveless dress as my brothers had me convinced I was fat. Also because I tried on my mother's gown from 1948 and through the bust and rib cage could not fit. My measurements at the time were 36-26-36 but being a short 5'3" I looked hippy.

Anyway, over the years of trying to keep up with my no weight gain no matter what he did until he was 30 ex=husb and and babies 2 year apart (one over 10 lbs) I gained until I was over 200 lbs. (There was undiagnosed depression in the mix too).

After ex-husband had an affair with his secretary when the kids were 3 & 5, I was doing 3 hours of exercise a day while only being able to stomach cheerios. Lost 40 lbs in a month, 80 lbs over 5 months...ended up having to have my gallbladder removed.

The main thing I noticed was that men who wouldn't give me the time of day before were hitting on me in the grocery store and other store clerks who would ignore me or treat me rudely were now very attentive. It didn't please me - it pissed me off. Because I was the same person inside and in personality that I was when I had weight on. I wanted to slap all of them.

I slowly gained again and am now about 200, divorced for over 5 years but happier than ever. I am healthy, fit and vibrant. If I lose weight, cool...but I am not going to kill myself to do it. I have a vast network of friends, I have a lover who tells me I am the best he ever had, I still wish clothes looked better on me (especially the ones I can afford) but being short not much does.

The sad thing is that Oprah with all her money, fame and adventures is still beating herself up. She needs to change her outlook and celebrate herself no matter what. Set the example for those of us out here without money. It is what it is. Just live.
12/11/08, 6:57 PM  
Blogger missy said...
Hallelujah. I had much more trouble with my weight as a teen than I do now, but acceptance by my family was always the hardest thing for me to attain (and still is). I think Oprah's still trying to please her worthless pop.

I'm a gimp, born with one hip socket, and it wasn't until I started taking tae kwon do 4 yrs ago and running straight up against all my limitations face to face that I finally started to accept myself. You have to look it in the eye and face it down, that part of you that breeds self-hate.
12/12/08, 11:55 AM  
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