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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

God talks to Sarah Palin
Posted by Jill | 5:48 AM
Remember when people who thought God talked directly to them and micromanaged their lives were called "crazy people"? Today they call them "standard-bearers for the Republican Party."

Sarah Palin says God will tell her if she should run in 2012:
Faith is a very big part of my life. And putting my life in my creator's hands - this is what I always do. I'm like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I'm like, don't let me miss the open door. Show me where the open door is. Even if it's cracked up a little bit, maybe I'll plow right on through that and maybe prematurely plow through it, but don't let me miss an open door. And if there is an open door in (20)12 or four years later, and if it is something that is going to be good for my family, for my state, for my nation, an opportunity for me, then I'll plow through that door.


Save yourself the trouble, governor. Having you as president will never, ever, ever in a million years be good for this nation.

See how easy that was? Now go back to rummaging through Piper's underwear to see what the RNC bought her.

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8 Comments:
Blogger Fran said...
As your resident Christian blogfriend allow me to say I am offended.

Oh no- not by you!!

By Sarah Palin and her arrogance dressed in Christian clothing.

This is but one reason I am a member of

Americans United
. Keeping church and state separate is more essential than ever.

And keeping Sarah Palin as from from Washington (although we know we have not seen the last of her) is really essential!

Blogger Charles D said...
I have to say that this pretty much trashes the idea that "God is Good".

Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...
If you talk to God, that's prayer.

If God talks to you,
that's schizophrenia.


G.B. Shaw

Anonymous Anonymous said...
But...Sarah will be missed ...a comment from Casey Seiler in the Albany Times-Union:

A ratings winner, you betcha


First published: Sunday, November 9, 2008

Following the excitement of Election 2008 comes the inevitable hangover, and the realization that after all the high-flown rhetoric we now face the hard, grinding work of wresting the ship of the state away from the shoals of — well, you can fill in the rest of the metaphor.

But there are some elements of the race for the White House that I'm simply not prepared to give up.

So I pose the following question not just as an American, but as a weekly producer of topical satire: What can we as a nation do to keep Gov. Sarah Palin in the public eye for as long as possible?

Yes, we're going to miss Palin — the beehive, the glasses, the disastrous make-or-break interviews. Joe Biden might be a gaffe machine, but Palin represented something more sublime. Even Barack Obama's historic win isn't quite enough to salve my heartbreak over her departure from the national stage.

Luckily, I am sustained by the very real possibility that Palin might somehow leverage herself into Ted Stevens' seat, should the Senate's oldest felon step down or (more likely) be bounced from the chamber.

In the short term, of course, we can feast on the wonderfully baroque anecdotes blatting out from the disappointed gnomes of the McCain campaign, about Palin's wardrobe costs and sub-standard interview prep and generally diva-ish behavior.

The latest and maybe greatest was reported last week on Fox News (that's right), where unnamed GOP staffers alleged that Palin wasn't quite sure whether Africa was a country or a continent. The governor's surrogates protested that she does know the facts — but they were using the same cadences with which they had previously defended her grasp of the vice president's role in the Senate, and how the First Amendment wasn't actually designed to protect her from criticism leveled by snarky journalists like me.

Well, who cares? Maybe Palin didn't know Africa is a continent — she sure as hell knows it now.

And before you judge, consider this: America is a country and South America is a continent, but Africa is a continent and South Africa is a country.

See? It's confusing. More than that, it's unfair. Elites are always using their arcane knowledge to put regular folk in their place — endlesly bragging about calculus and how much they loved "Finnegan's Wake," or their ability to identify continents and explain what the Bill of Rights was all about.

For the rest of us, there are basic-cable reality shows.

Amazingly, no one at Bravo or the E! network has begun to talk about securing Palin and her family for their own weekly political comedy-drama. All the elements are there: The hard-charging professional mom with national ambitions. The rugged husband who, like Lucy Ricardo at Ricky's nightclub, likes to monkey around in his wife's business a little too often. The fetching but mischief-prone daughter, and her handsome but dim teen jock baby daddy.

As if this setup isn't perfect enough, producers could add a wild-card element by securing the services of Joe "The Plumber" Wurzelbacher to serve as the Palin family's goofy in-house handyman, sort of like Schneider on "One Day at a Time."

Every episode begins with Joe and the Palin family sitting around the breakfast table planning out the day, or maybe discussing the prospects for peace in the Middle East or the benefits of a flat tax.

And every episode ends with Joe making a mess of yet another home-improvement project, or grousing about how cold it is.

It's "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" meets "The Osbournes" with a touch of "Ice Road Truckers," and it will keep us plugged in to Palin — at least until 2012.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
If there's anybody as should be interested, let alone concerned, about Governor Palin's mental state (or want thereof), it ought to be the Alaska Legislature.

As in perhaps removing Governor Palin from office for Mental Incompetence and/or Incapacity.

Blogger Peter Clothier said...
Let's hope God keeps his doors closed. Wouldn't want her walking through any more of them. Into, maybe...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Haven't we had enough of Palin...now we have to hear her conversations with God, enough is enough already.

Blogger Rhode Island Rules said...
Sarah said during the election that God would do the right thing.

Now He has Sarah, so take that as your sign and go away.