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Thursday, October 14, 2004

Thus Spake Vern
Posted by Jill | 9:34 AM
Excerpts, Debate Edition:

the president is a fucking retard. I love America and all that, but the president is a fucking retard. Quit pretending.

If Bush went up there wearing his pants backwards and spent the whole time talking about his Yu-Gi-Oh cards, the media could still probaly pass it off as an impressive showing by a strong, decisive leader. He was just showing that he was down with the people. When his dad was president he was so out of touch he hadn't apparently been inside a grocery store in 35 years. This Bush though, this guy is with it, he collects Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Just like the hard working, God fearing, homeland securing NASCAR dads and security moms and juggling uncles and commemorative coin neighbors and all the other embarassingly obvious fictional demographics he represents.

COME ON, media. You've been sleeping on the job for years. WHEN exactly did you get so god damned interested in integrity and standards? Why did I not hear about this? Was I out of town? You motherfuckers don't HAVE integrity and you know it. When Wolf Blitzer is in the CNN men's room taking a piss next to fucking treacherous Robert Novak, then he goes to wash his hands, I bet he makes a point of NOT looking in the mirror. I'm sorry to bust your bubble, media, but you don't HAVE integrity. You left your integrity in your other pants and it went through the wash and when it came out it was in such bad shape you just tossed it.

You know what I also love, this business with the focus groups of "undecided voters." In other words, idiots. Or at best, lifelong republicans still struggling with whether to vote for Kerry or write in Superman. I mean seriously, how could you actually live in this country and not yet be sure who you're gonna vote for?

I mean there's a pretty clear difference here. We're not talking a decision between Coke and Pepsi. We're talking Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader. We're talking The Rolling Stones or Milli Vanilli. Who's it gonna be, man?


Read on, dude...
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