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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Sarah Palin's Top 10 Qualities for a Presidential Candidate

Recently on Entertainment Tonight, Sarah Palin listed what qualities she finds ideal in a Republican presidential candidate. Among the qualities listed, being a Constitutional conservative and being dismissive of what the media may think of them. But Gov. Palin also listed other qualities she finds admirable in a GOP White House candidate. What were they?

  • 10) The ability to hire a literary agent to get them $7,000,000 for a book without writing a single word.

  • 9) The ability to inexplicably augment fame and fortune without the benefit of public office, political courage or two operable neurons to rub together.

  • 8) The ability to retain so much relevance based on tiny Tea Party rallies that your homophobic 16 y/o daughter's routine Facebook flame wars set the Huffington Post ablaze.

  • 7) The ability to make Soylent Green death panels seem like a reality to creatures on two legs.

  • 6) The ability to make liberals waste millions of man hours online without being in possession of a single fact.

  • 5) The ability to plausibly deny global warming even when ice shelves the size of Rhode Island are dropping into the drink.

  • 4) Someone who can make President Obama simultaneously look like both a Communist and a Nazi.

  • 3) Someone remaining politically relevant through one channel, Facebook and Twitter.

  • 2) The ability to ignorantly coin new words like "refudiate" and still make it "the top word of the year."

  • 1) Someone who can get a Senate candidate elected in their own state.
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