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Saturday, October 02, 2010

Ho', Ho', Ho'!
Posted by jurassicpork | 10:15 AM
This just came in Mrs. JP's inbox, which she then passed onto me. How the fuck she got on their radar screen is beyond me but in cases like this the usual suspects are right wing Red State relatives who mean well.

Considering other peoples' experiences with Sarah Palin at other events such as her book signings, I can tell you exactly what you'll get for your $950 (which, since last March, is a real bargain and an even bigger bargain considering what it cost to have your picture taken next to her cardboard cutout two years ago, proving that Palin's depreciating in value faster than a 15 year-old Toyota with bad brakes and a leaky training):



From: Peter Terpeluk, Chairman, RNC Victory 2010
To: signgrrl56@comcast.net
Subject: Sarah Palin Wants to Meet You
Dear ,

Sarah Palin wants to meet you.

You are invited to join Sarah Palin and our conservative candidates running at all levels at a rally to kickoff our Party's final push to victory in Anaheim, CA, on Saturday, October 16th or Orlando, FL, on Saturday, October 23rd.

As a grassroots activist, I hope you will be able to attend one of these special campaign events because you understand more than most exactly what is at stake for our country just 32 days from now.

We must elect commonsense, Reagan-Republican majorities to the U.S. House and Senate and add to the number of Governors if we are to slam the brakes on the Obama Democrats' destructive socialist schemes. Your participation at the victory rally and your continuing generous financial support is vital if we are to pull our candidates across the finish line.

, tickets to these events are only $20.10 for general admission or $90 for the reserved section -- but space is limited and tickets are going fast. (Children under 15 are free.)

You also have the unique opportunity to attend a special reception with Sarah Palin at either location for a gift of $950.

Benefits for those who are able to attend this reception with the Governor include a photo and the unique opportunity to discuss the critical issues facing our country with other grassroots leaders.

To reserve your tickets today, simply go here. After you place your ticket order, you will receive a separate email to print your tickets.

If you can't make it to either of these events, I hope you will take this opportunity to keep our Party moving forward to an historic victory by making an investment of 25 cents for every one of the 435 House, 37 Senate and 37 Governors' races for a total of $127.25. Your gift will ensure that RNC Victory's vital get-out-the-vote effort is fully funded and that our Republican candidates have the down-to-the-wire support they need to win.

Sarah Palin looks forward to meeting you at one of these great events. Working together, I know we will win the battle to save our country.

Sincerely,


Chairman, RNC Victory 2010

P.S. , I hope you can make it to Anaheim, CA, on Saturday, October 16th or Orlando, FL, on Saturday, October 23rd for these exciting RNC Victory 2010 campaign events. Tickets are available for $20.10 apiece for general admission, $90 for the reserved section and $950 for a special reception and photo op. You can get yours right now by going here. Even if you cannot attend, please take this opportunity to make a campaign gift of 25 cents for every major race being contested this fall for a total of $127.25. Thank you.

P.P.S. With your minimum gift of $127.25, you will receive a commemorative copy of Sarah Palin's new book, America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag.


It's gonna be something like this, if history is any indicator:

You'll stand on a long line of people, so many innocent, impressionable Ralphies dreaming of shooting wolves from helicopters with the governor. Hopefully, you'll get to the head of the line before Sarah Barracuda's red-shod feet start getting sore or before her bendy-strawed bottle runs out of water. You'll be picked up and turned around like a widget on an assembly line by her Republican elves, you won't be permitted to talk to her or ask her questions and you'll then be kicked down the big red plastic chute.


You'll stop your humiliating descent, painfully climb back up, and say,

"No! No, Governor! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle and shoot wolves from helicopters with you!"

She'll imperiously look down at you and say,

"You'll shoot your eye out, kid! Vote Tea Party next month." Then she'll kick you in the face with her red-shod foot and you'll continue your humiliating slide into obscurity as you'll have to hear her say, "Ho, ho, ho, ya betcha!" above you.

That's what you'll get for your $950, kiddies. So, I think Mrs. JP and I will pass.
3 comments
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3 Comments:
Blogger D. said...
At least the 15 yr old Toyota brakes can be fixed.
10/2/10, 11:47 AM  
Anonymous mandt said...
I hear that if you sit in her lap you'll get frostbite.
10/2/10, 2:13 PM  
Blogger casey said...
Hello Jurassicpork,

The two locations are an inspired choice. Anaheim, CA = Disneyland and
Orlando, FL = Disney World. Two fantasy locations for the alternate reality party.
10/2/10, 4:29 PM  
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