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Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Top Ten Ways That Jan Brewer Will Celebrate Cinco de Mayo
Posted by jurassicpork | 8:42 AM

Last month, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer signed into a law a controversial measure that makes illegal immigration a crime in Arizona, opening the door to charges that local and state law enforcement will use this for racial profiling. Today honors Mexico's contributions to American culture. How will Gov. Brewer celebrate Cinco de Mayo?

  • 10) Ceremonially renaming Arizona "Aryan Zone" for May 5th.

  • 9) Hispanics Only race across the Rio Colorado with the finish line in San Luis, Mexico.

  • 8) Free passport and birth certificate inspections.

  • 7) Signing an executive order renaming the holiday "The Fifth of May" for the ease of English-language residents.

  • 6) Imploring Arizona residents to avoid Mexican restaurants so more Hispanics can take the day off.

  • 5) Live law enforcement demonstrations of tasers and aluminum batons.

  • 4) Will preside over a seminar teaching Latinos fun and creative ways to carry and display their passports and birth certificates.

  • 3) Reminiscent of guessing the jelly beans in a jar, will hold a Cinco de Mayo-only lottery named, "How Many Mexicans Does it Take to Fill the Grand Canyon?"

  • 2) Asking Arizona Diamondbacks principal owner Ken Kendrick to order players to wear home jerseys reading, "Nonracists."

  • 1) Will introduce a bill in the Arizona legislature giving the Pilgrims of the Mayflower retroactive American citizenship when they invaded native American land to co-opt its resources.
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    1 Comments:
    Anonymous mandt said...
    OMG! Is that Barbie's granny?
    5/6/10, 8:09 PM  
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