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Saturday, May 22, 2010

Texas children will learn horsepuckey, because Cynthia Dunbar "likes to believe"
Posted by Jill | 6:16 AM
Thanks to the Teajad that the Paliban wing of the Texas Board of Education has declared against history, truth, and anything that isn't evangelical Christianity, Texas schoolchildren will now be trained to be good little soldiers for Jeebus. Because according to them, facts have a decided liberal bias. (If Stephen Colbert didn't exist, we would have to invent him for occasions like this.)

Yesterday, before voting, high-profile Board member Cynthia Dunbar did the invocation:




“Whether we look to the first charter of Virginia, or the charter of New England…the same objective is present — a Christian land governed by Christian principles.”

“I like to believe we are living today in the spirit of the Christian religion. I like also to believe that as long as we do so, no great harm can come to our country.”


"Likes to believe"? Texas schoolchildren are going to be taught revisionist history because this nutball "likes to believe" narcissistic sociopathic delusions?

The first charter of Virginia, a document written by King James I to the Virginia company, DID assign land rights for the purpose of spreading Christianity. However, it dates back to 1606 and last I looked, King James I (yes, THAT King James I, son of Mary, Queen of Scots and great-nephew of Henry VIII) was not recognized as one of the Founding Fathers of this country (though perhaps in the new Christian curriculum of Texas, he will be). By Dunbar's logic, the Virginia Charter, not the Constitution, is one of the founding documents of this country and so I suppose that a fifth of any gold, silver, or copper found in Virginia should be shipped back to Queen Elizabeth and that she be declared the rightful head of state. It also explicitly states that Virginia is part of the realm of England, but Dunbar and her Christofascist Zombies conveniently forget that part.

As for the charter of New England, this one dates from 1620 -- also prior to the Revolution and the founding of the United States. This is another dictate from our friend James I -- a long rant that includes:
And also for that We have been further given certainly to knowe, that within these late Yeares there hath by God's Visitation reigned a wonderfull Plague, together with many horrible Slaugthers, and Murthers, committed amoungst the Sauages and brutish People there, heertofore inhabiting, in a Manner to the utter Destruction, Deuastacion, and Depopulacion of that whole Territorye, so that there is not left for many Leagues together in a Manner, any that doe claime or challenge any Kind of Interests therein, nor any other Superiour Lord or Souveraigne to make Claime "hereunto, whereby We in our Judgment are persuaded and satisfied that the appointed Time is come in which Almighty God in his great Goodness and Bountie towards Us and our People, hath thought fitt and determined, that those large and goodly Territoryes, deserted as it were by their naturall Inhabitants, should be possessed and enjoyed by such of our Subjects and People as heertofore have and hereafter shall by his Mercie and Favour, and by his Powerfull Arme, be directed and conducted thither. In Contemplacion and serious Consideracion whereof, Wee have thougt it fitt according to our Kingly Duty, soe much as in Us lyeth, to second and followe God's sacred Will, rendering reverend Thanks to his Divine Majestie for his gracious favour in laying open and revealing the same unto us, before any other Christian Prince or State, by which Meanes without Offence, and as We trust to his Glory, Wee may with Boldness goe on to the settling of soe hopefull a Work, which tendeth to the reducing and Conversion of such Sauages as remaine wandering in Desolacion and Distress, to Civil Societie and Christian Religion, to the Inlargement of our own Dominions, and the Aduancement of the Fortunes of such of our good Subjects as shall willingly intresse themselves in the said Imployment, to whom We cannot but give singular Commendations for their soe worthy Intention and Enterprize

So yes, we can say that King Jimmy did intend for Virginia and New England to be dens of proseletyzer/warriors. What makes this hilarious, for anyone who has even passed by Masterpiece Theatre over the years, is that Dunbar's adoption of King James I as a Founding Father, supplanting the hemp-smokers and libertines who actual DID set forth the documents that most of us who are actually SANE regard as the founding documents of this country, means that the laws of this land descend from a guy whose great-grand-uncle established himself as head of the Church in England so he could get rid of a wife and marry a younger, presumably more fertile chickie, then cut that one's head off when she failed to produce a son, had the one who DID give him a son die in childbirth, got rid of another one who was at least smart enough to go quietly, and cut off the head of another one. All of which I guess puts Henry VIII, whose sister Margaret married James IV of Scotland and produced James V, who in turn married Marie de Guise and produced Mary, Queen of Scots, mother of James VI of Scotland, who became heir to the throne of England when Elizabeth I died childless, as a fitting spiritual and behavioral ancestor to the Christopath psychotics who run the Republican Party today (see also: Sanford, Mark; Gingrich, Newt; Souder, Mark, etc.) as well as the Texas Board of Education.

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5 Comments:
Blogger skywind said...
"The invocation before voting." Doesn't that say it all?
5/22/10, 9:42 AM  
Anonymous jb said...
What they stand for, bent though it is, doesn't offend me half as much as their hypocrisy. If they really believed all this shit, they'd never believe all this shit.
5/22/10, 11:33 AM  
Anonymous evil begets evil said...
You missed King James I's sexual orientation. His favorite, a stable boy, was raised to Lord Baltimore when he got too old for the chickenhawk. He received a grant of Maryland. His son Lord Baltimore the II established Maryland as a refuge for Catholics.

Lord Baltimore the first suffered. King James did not believe in baths.

"Washed when he was born, washed when he died." Poor wife.
5/22/10, 12:40 PM  
Anonymous mandt said...
I doth hurleth at the thought of it!
5/22/10, 1:16 PM  
Anonymous Georgette Orwell said...
If it were only Texas children I might be able to deal with it (being a New Englander). The problem is that it affects textbooks for the national market.
5/23/10, 7:34 AM  
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