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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Is the New York Times growing these people on a tree?
Posted by Jill | 7:00 AM
And the names "Nagourney", "Kantor", "Bumiller", and "Rudoren" or "Wilgoren" (take your pick) appear nowhere in this article.

How much painting of Barack Obama as both an effete wuss and Scary Negro™ (sic) can you cram into one article? Here's how much:

Mr. Love now knows that when it comes to food, Senator Obama “eats pretty much anything, from chicken wings and barbecue and ribs to grilled fish and steamed broccoli.” But when he is campaigning in a small town with limited options, a cheeseburger is always a good bet. (“Cheddar is the cheese of choice,” Mr. Love added.)


Good old fashioned Kraft Singles aren't good enough for this "uppity" guy, the article seems to say...he wants CHEDDAR. Ready for more?

He knows that “the boss,” as he calls Mr. Obama, likes MET-Rx chocolate roasted-peanut protein bars and bottles of a hard-to-find organic brew — Black Forest Berry Honest Tea. He keeps a supply of both on hand.


Ooh...hoity toity. Protein bars and organic tea? Ah...the candidate of dirty fucking hippies and Volvo-driving, latte-drinking elitists, when everyone knows that Real Good Old Hard Working WHITE American Men drink Chock Full O'Nuts and Lipton.


Mr. Love, 26, is Mr. Obama’s body man, the personal aide who shadows the senator and anticipates everything he needs — and everything he does not need. He is not a bodyguard (security is provided by the Secret Service), but rather the ultimate assistant, rarely more than a body length away from the candidate.

Young, eager campaign aides are stock characters in movies and on television, but few have quite the élan of Mr. Love, who, at 6-foot-5, is about three inches taller than the tall candidate, fitter than the fit candidate (he can bench press more than 350 pounds) and cooler than the cool candidate.


And never let it be said that the Scary Negro™ can't be compatible with the painting of male Democratic candidates who aren't looking to bomb the fuck out of any country that looks at us crosswise (and even some who are) as gay:

What a body man does depends on the politician. Senator John Kerry’s aide for his presidential race in 2004 was dubbed “part butler, part buddy.” Bill Clinton’s aide when he was president said their relationship sometimes felt more like that of an old married couple. Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton has a body woman, the efficient and glamorous Huma Abedin.


You almost have to admire the utter hackery of a paragraph like that, especially how Ashley Parker, the author of this piece, manages to paint Bill Clinton's relationship with HIS "body man" as somehow homoerotic in his likening it to that of a married couple. And let's not forget the rumors that wingnuttia has circulated for the last year about Hillary's relationship with Huma Abedin.

And to top it off, Parker managed to get Mr. Love to provide a list of Sen. Obama's favorite things, just so the Tucker Carlsons and the Pat Buchanans and the Fox News-bots who can get away with saying on national television that they hope someone will take a shot at Obama can parse it and compare and contrast these items with the stuff Real Americans™ eat -- the good old fashioned Frankenfoods put on shelves by megacorporations.


As Senator Barack Obama’s body man, Reggie Love makes sure the candidate has plenty of the things he likes — and makes note of those things he would rather avoid.
Here is a partial list, provided by Mr. Love.
¶ Planters Trail Mix: Nuts, Seeds & Raisins
¶ Roasted almonds
¶ Pistachios
¶ Water
¶ Dentyne Ice
¶ Nicorette
¶ MET-Rx chocolate roasted peanut protein bars
¶ Vegetables, especially broccoli and spinach
¶ Handmade milk chocolates from Fran’s Chocolates in Seattle

¶ Mayonnaise
¶ Salt and vinegar potato chips
¶ Asparagus (“if no other vegetables are available, he’ll eat it”)
¶ Soft drinks (he prefers water)


Trail mix, almonds and pistachios, when Real American Men™ eat beer nuts? Water when Real American Men™ drink Budweiser? Dentyne Ice when Real American Men&trade chew Wrigley's? PROTEIN BARS? Broccoli and spinach, when Real American Men™ know that FRENCH FRIES are the vegetable of choice; maybe coleslaw. But broccoli and spinach? And he doesn't like mayonnaise or good old American Coca-Cola?

Gasoline is now $4/gallon in 11 states. The IAEA is giving the Bush Administration more fuel for its lust to invade Iran. And this is the information the New York Times is giving readers. This is what the media think is important.

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4 Comments:
Blogger Unknown said...
Lol. What a dweeb.
5/27/08, 8:51 AM  
Blogger Melina said...
and NO Brown M&M's...thats the color of the people!!...

Jesus, who doesn't have a particular flavor of Snapple that they like?
Have I been known to throw a case in the car when on my way to vacation somewhere? Yeah...
would I want any old tiger bar if I were up for days traveling and speaking? no...
I think that most people, especially NY Times readers are like that. They are writing to the wrong audience there....they should spread that shit to the little local papers across the south if they really want to have an effect... and even there, I think that people have preferences, and thats not called elitist...

Of course, rock bands used to use all that specific language to make sure that promoters were reading the contracts, right?


Did you know that Obama is the father of Rosemary's Baby? I know because Drifty told me so....
5/27/08, 9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
The third paragraph of the story referred to basketball. Since all these foods are healthy, this could also play into a narrative about being strong and fit or about being a positive role model for unhealthy eating habits among blacks.
5/27/08, 10:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
(he can bench press more than 350 pounds)

Big Deal. Pat Robertson can bench 900 and he's 118 years old.
5/30/08, 5:41 PM  
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