"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast"
-Oscar Wilde		 Brilliant at Breakfast title banner "The liberal soul shall be made fat, and he that watereth, shall be watered also himself."
-- Proverbs 11:25
"...you have a choice: be a fighting liberal or sit quietly. I know what I am, what are you?" -- Steve Gilliard, 1964 - 2007

"For straight up monster-stomping goodness, nothing makes smoke shoot out my ears like Brilliant@Breakfast" -- Tata

"...the best bleacher bum since Pete Axthelm" -- Randy K.

"I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (1954-2015), They Live
Thursday, April 03, 2008

So, what'd I miss?
Posted by Jill | 9:12 PM
I'm visiting family in North Carolina, which has had me somewhat incommunicado. I flew down here via Skybus out of Newburgh, NY on Wednesday, which is kind of an interesting experience.

Skybus is the no-frills airline to end all no-frills airline. Ticket prices start out ridiculously low, and get higher as the flight date gets closer and the flight gets more crowded. The big gimmick with Skybus is that 10 seats on each flight are sold for $10 (you get first dibs on these seats by getting advance e-mail notice if you sign up on the airline's web site). Even if you don't get one of these seats, you can still fly pretty cheaply; I paid $35 for my trip down and $55 for the return. How can they do this? Well, it remains to be seen whether they can, given that as of April 15, they've cut down to one flight a day to Greensboro from Newburgh, and that flight will be after 9 PM, which makes Skybus not exactly viable for future trips. But what they're selling is an a low-overhead, ad-driven á la carte concept. There's no call center, no telephone customer service. You book through the web site. You can print your boarding pass at home, or at an airport kiosk. The girl who checks you in at the airport is the same one you'll see later on at the gate. You want to check a bag? $10 bucks each bag, each way. Priority boarding? $12.50 each way. You want food or a drink? You can get a bottle of water, soda or coffee for two bucks; alcoholic drinks are more, or you can get a sandwich or hot meal for up to $8. And your flight attendant accepts tips.

The flight crew on a Skybus flight doesn't look like any crew you've ever seen. Usually the pilot is some silver-haired, whippet-thin, lantern-jawed Top Gunner with a name like Captain Roger Flint or something equally testosteroneish, and the co-pilot has a similar name, like Mike Manhood. On Skybus, your cockpit crew is "Gwen" and "Rich", and Gwen is the pilot. Your flight attendants are nattily attired in black Skybus T-shirts and black slacks, and all this casual élan gives the proceedings the ambiance of a somewhat hipper-than-normal T.G.I. Friday's. About 2/3 of the way through the flight, there's a show of hands, where the lucky receipients of the $10 seats reveal themselves, followed by those of us who got the equivalent of 3 Powerball numbers and are flying for under $100, followed by the rest, otherwise known as "suckers." And then the shopping starts. Skybus offers a skymall devoid of the usual luxury goods you see in the duty-free Skymall that most airlines carry. Instead, you can buy everything from travel pillows and blankets to TSA-approved locks to perfume samplers and fancy chocolates, all tax free because I guess when you're at 35,000 feet, sales tax does not apply. I've read that Skybus flight attendants' base wage is lower than industry average, and that they make a commission on all the food and gifts they sell, so you do feel kind of obligated to buy something, given that they are still required to be trained and professional.

So the whole thing feels kind of "Hey, kids, let's put on an airline!" -- except that the planes are brandy-new Airbus A319's that still have that new airliner smell and leather seats, and the fact that Skybus is deadly serious about their business model, which is to be profitable by other means than selling seats. This means that if you want to pay for your company to sponsor the safety lecture, or the show of hands spiel, or even, reportedly, plaster your advertisement on the side of Skybus' planes, well, money talks. It's sort of cool and fun and weird and horrifying all at the same time; and it'll be interesting to see if they can make this work in a terrible business environment for air travel, while airlines like ATA and Aloha Airlines are biting the dust and Southwest Airlines is flying planes with cracks in them and the FAA doesn't seem to give a rat's ass. Curiously, I felt safer flying Skybus because at least their planes are new and as a new startup, one crash and they're toast. Of course if it's a flight I'm on, so am I, but you see what I mean.

At any rate, "Gwen" and "Rich" got us to Greensboro in one piece, despite one of the worst takeoffs in wicked crosswinds that I've ever experienced; and assuming I can find my way back to Greensboro on Saturday, I'll be back in the groove on Sunday.
3 comments
Bookmark and Share
3 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
That's some travelogue.

I like the let's-put-on-an-airline but I mutter "...Quantas..." when I've got a flight.
4/4/08, 8:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Uhhh, that would be this Skybus? USA Today reports tonight:

"Low-cost carrier Skybus Airlines is shutting down Saturday and plans to file for bankruptcy protection next week . . . "

I laughed out loud when I read your post this morning. Told someone at lunch today about what a neat idea for an airline (and, BTW, how much I enjoy your writing). Tonight I read about the bankruptcy.

Hope you find smooth sailing somewhere on your return.
4/5/08, 12:03 AM  
Blogger Tuli said...
Even though they are going down I appreciate your commitment to blogging and I never would have heard of them or been tuned into the story without your post.

Thank you.
4/6/08, 7:28 PM  
Post a Comment
<< Home