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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Give it up, Macacawitz, it's over
Posted by Jill | 5:50 AM
God, I hate not being able to blog from work. Such a huge day yesterday, and my fingers are tied -- and it was just too yucky out to head to the library at lunchtime.

Anyway, take a minute to savor this:





Yes, it's true, whether soon-to-be-ex-Senator Felix Macacawitz likes it or not. You see, Felix, sometimes rich family scions DON'T get everything they want. Maybe you and that Bush fella in the White House should get together and commisserate. But you see, Macacawitz, karma's a bitch, isn't it? Remember what you said on the Today show on November 8, 2000:

"we'll need to move America forward as soon
as those votes are cast."


Well, that applies to Republicans too, pal -- even you. Even sons of legendary football coaches. But it's like I said, Felix -- it's time to man up, concede, and go home. Go home, play golf, spit on your second sanctity-of-marriage wife if you want, go speak of the perils of gay marriage in front of the kind of Christofascist zombie groups who will still love you. Yes, Felix, I know you wanted to be president, and you wanted it in 2008. But look at how bad that Bush fella looks after six years of being a nitwit with an affable demeanor in the White House. And after all he's tried to do to redeem his place in his family, his father is pissed at him anyway. The presidency is no place to resolve your Famous Father Namesake issues. Trust me. Go find yourself a good behavioral/cognitive therapist and work it out there. I'm only thinking of your welfare, Felix. The presidency isn't all it's cracked up to be.

So it's time to concede, Macacawitz. It's perfectly OK to want a recount, but when the recount confirms the original result, and when the recount takes place without the opponent's goons rioting in the halls -- you know, like these guys did in 2000:



-- when the recount says it's over, it's over. Even for you.

Come on, Felix, when even "Man-on-Dog" Santorum can go out in a classy way, so can you. Try it. You might even save your soul.
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