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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Creepy Sexually-Repressed Perverts
Posted by Jill | 7:18 AM
The other night I really tried to watch NOW on PBS. The show was about the South Dakota abortion ban, and I really did want to see it. But as soon as I saw the appalling and disturbing rictus of Leslie Unruh, who obviously had some sex in her life that she regrets, saying that she's trying to ban abortion in order to give women their freedom back, I was shrieking at the TV set and looking at things to throw, and Mr. Brilliant said to me, "Are you SURE you want to watch this?" And I realized that at age 50, that kind of rage could result in heart attacks and massive destruction of personal property -- including the bedroom TV, which we are not in a position to replace.

Others, however, had more intestinal fortitude and caught the whole thing. Meanwhile, the good producers of NOW, perhaps understanding the dilemma of someone like myself, have posted a transcript of the program, which becomes even more appalling than the little bit of it that I saw.

Here are the kind of people who want to ban abortion:


HINOJOSA:
...ABSTINENCE ONLY EDUCATION IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST MOVEMENTS IN SEX ED IN THE COUNTRY TODAY. THE BASIC IDEA IS THAT INSTEAD OF TEACHING KIDS ABOUT SAFE SEXUAL PRACTICES, YOUNG PEOPLE ARE TAUGHT HOW TO ABSTAIN FROM SEX COMPLETELY UNTIL MARRIAGE.

THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION HAS PUMPED HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS INTO THESE PROGRAMS AROUND THE COUNTRY.

AND GUESS WHO'S ONE OF THE COUNTRY'S TOP ABSTINENCE-ONLY ACTIVISTS? LESLEE UNRUH. SHE ALSO RUNS 'THE ABSTINENCE CLEARINGHOUSE' – AN ORGANIZATION THAT PROMOTES ABSTINENCE PROGRAMS AROUND THE COUNTRY. AND THE WORLD.

HINOJOSA:
So do you believe that young women, in schools in South Dakota, should be taught about contraception?

UNRUH:
I don't think that kids have to be taught about how to-- load a gun-- if they're not gonna use a gun. I think that kids need to be taught and explained about how not to be involved in sexual activity. Contraceptive devices fail. And I think that that's what they need to know about.

HINOJOSA:
THIS IS ONE OF THE CENTRAL TEACHINGS OF THE ABSTINENCE ONLY MOVEMENT: IF YOU'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT CONTRACEPTION, IT'S ONLY TO HIGHLIGHT HOW IT FAILS.

REP. HUNT:
You cannot talk about sexual abstinence without talking about contraceptives and without talking about condoms because you gotta show how bad the condoms are in order to show how good the sexual abstinence is.

HINOJOSA:
BUT DOES ABSTINENCE-ONLY EDUCATION WORK? WELL THE SCIENCE IS LIMITED, IN ONE RECENT STUDY OF STUDENTS WHO TOOK 'VIRGINITY PLEDGES' RESEARCHERS FOUND THAT THE PLEDGES DID HELP KIDS DELAY THEIR FIRST SEXUAL INTERCOURSE BY ABOUT 18 MONTHS.

BUT THE REALITY IS, NEARLY 90% OF THOSE KIDS ENDED UP HAVING PRE-MARITAL SEX. AND WHEN THEY DID, THEY WERE A LOT LESS LIKELY TO USE CONTRACEPTION.

LAST FRIDAY NIGHT, YOUNG GIRLS FROM AROUND SOUTH DAKOTA CAME TO SIOUX FALLS FOR A SPRING BALL. THIS ONE IS CALLED "THE PURITY BALL" IT'S A YEARLY EVENT RUN BY LESLEE UNRUH'S ABSTINENCE CLEARINGHOUSE.

THE IDEA IS THAT THESE YOUNG WOMEN COME WITH THEIR FATHERS. TO CELEBRATE THEIR SEXUAL PURITY.

UNRUH:
We think that its imp for fathers to the be the first ones to look into their daughters eyes and To tell her that her purity is special, and its ok to wait until marriage.

HINOJOSA:
IT MIGHT HAVE ALL THE TRAPPINGS OF A REGULAR PROM... BUT THIS ONE ENDS A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY.

GIRLS RECITING PLEDGE:
"I make a promise this day to God...

HINOJOSA:
THE YOUNG WOMEN HERE ALL MAKE A PROMISE TO THEIR FATHERS THAT THEY WONT' HAVE SEX UNTIL THE DAY THEY GET MARRIED.

GIRLS RECITING PLEDGE:
...to remain sexually pure...until the day I give myself as a wedding gift to my husband. ... I know that God requires this of me.. that he loves me. and that he will reward me for my faithfulness.

STOESZ:
According to their view of the world, if women just remained chaste, if they remain virgins until marriage and then if they had sex only with their husbands and they did so only when they wanted to have children, they wouldn't have this problem to begin with. So, it's their fault. Abstinence is the answer in their view. From their point of view, it's all about abstinence all the time.


Pledging to DADDY to remain pure? Yeesh. I don't know about how you feel reading this, but as soon as I finish writing it, I'm going to take a shower.

Digby:

You have to see it to believe it. They are all dressed up like prom goers, the dads in tuxes and the daughters in evening gowns looking all grown up. They dance, they laugh, they giggle. And then father and daughter stand up, holding each others hands, staring into each others' eyes and the girls make these vows as if in a wedding ceremony.

As I watch it occurs to me that this is why they don't have an exception for rape and incest. It's one of the creepiest things I've ever seen.

You will notice that there's no "mother-son" ceremony in which boys pledge to their mothers to stay pure until they give themselves as a gift to their wives. There is a Victorian impulse at work here that has nothing to do with fetuses. This is about women being autonomous, independent, sexual humans.


But that's always been why the so-called abstinence movement makes no sense to me -- because there IS a double-standard. There IS no similar ceremony for boys. There IS nothing in the culture of these people that reveres purity among males the way it does among females. Once again, boys are socialized to SEEK sex while girls are socialized to REFUSE sex. It's institutionalizing a game that shortchanges everyone. I hate tell these people, but you simply CANNOT raise girls to hate their bodies, to hate their own sexuality, to squelch their sexuality at all costs until some guy says some hocus-pocus over them that makes them the property of some guy who presumably the same father who was slobbering hungrily over their virginity at so-called "purity balls" picked for them -- and then suddenly expect them to have fulfilling sex lives. Of course, none of this is ABOUT having a fulfilling sex life; it's about submitting humbly to the master (husband), but never once enjoying it.

I have a number of books written in the early years of the 20th century by eugenicists and other "professionals" that go into excruciating detail about the importance of female purity and the dangers of sensualism. In the next few days, I'll reprint some excerpts from them -- they sound so much like these so-called Guardians of Female Morality it's downright frightening.
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