"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast" -Oscar Wilde |
"The liberal soul shall be made fat, and he that watereth, shall be watered also himself." -- Proverbs 11:25 |
Presidential Palm Pilot 10-8
(from Air America Radio, Morning Sedition, 10/8/04)
4 a.m. Debate Day. Wake Up in St. Louis in a cold sweat. NOTE: Must score coke, must score coke, must score coke. Call Ramon.
4:30 a.m. Call Ramon again NOTE: Where the hell is he? How are people supposed to score coke in the Midwest? How long would it take Air Force One to go to Miami?
6 a.m. Dangle Kerry debate dummy off balcony. Need confidence builder.
7 a.m. Wake economic advisor. See if it’s too late to buy every voter a car.
8 a.m. Ramon finally comes. Thank you, Jesus.
9 a.m. Party!!!!. NOTE: What do I am I have to worry about? I’m the greatest president of all time!!! Everyone loves me. Thank you Ramon!!! Who-hoooo!!!!! Hail to the Chief!!!!
11 a.m. Curl up in a corner. Weep. NOTE: I can’t do this, I got nothing, there’s no WMD’s, the polls are down, I screwed up the last one, Kerry is a much better debater than I am, Cheney won’t take my calls, everyone knows about the earpiece, I’m SCREWED, SCREWED, SCREWED, SCREWED!!!!!
12-7 p.m. Stare out the hotel window at nothing. NOTE: What does it all mean? No one knows the real me. I just wanted to run a baseball team. I never wanted this. Dad wanted this. It’s always about making Dad happy. Let Jeb do it…
7:30 p.m. Meeting with Cheney. HIS ADVICE: Pull yourself together you stupid hick!!! We didn’t waste billions on you so you could bail out now. Remember, we could take you out anytime, and I don’t mean the race!!! So get dressed, you stupid blow monkey!
9 p.m. Debate. Be prepared to go to “Aide-hands-me-a-piece-of-paper-and-I have-to-go-now scenario. National security. Can’t talk about it. Gotta run. Gotta go do something presidential.”
11 p.m. Bedtime. NOTE: Well, I’ve still got one friend left. Hello, Ramon?