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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Jesus for President
Posted by Jill | 12:32 PM
What WOULD happen if Jesus came back and ran for president? William K. Wolfrum imagines the swiftboating he would receive from the Usual Suspects:

“A lot of people are afraid to talk about Christ, which is understandable yet cowardly,” wrote Malkin in a blog title ‘Who is this Jesus character?’ “I think if you look deeper, you see a frightening man. Are we sure we want a man with a well-chronicled drinking problem to lead this great nation?”

Others quickly followed suit.

“Jesus? I just don’t see it. Do we really want a Jew as President? Maybe Lieberman. But I say, make Jesus eat a pork roast on live TV. We want proof that he’s Christian,” wrote Ann Coulter. “You know that the ‘H’ in his name stands for ‘Hussein,’ right?”

“The man … and I use that term loosely. Have you seen his hair? … The man cavorts with prostitutes and has a group of homeless male “disciples.” No, I’m not saying anything. I’m not. Really. I’m not calling him a homosexual whore-chaser. Don’t get me wrong,” said Rush Limbaugh.

“Time and time again, the Democrats pull out sodomites as candidates. Just one look at Christ and you can see he doesn’t have a care in the world, that he doesn’t need to follow Christian doctrine. You know who else feels that way? Anal-loving fudgepackers. Am I saying we should kill Christ? Of course not. God will tend to his ass-loving judgement,” said Catholic League President Bill Donohue in a heavily fact-checked statement.

“Thes psycho liberals. They prop up a Palestinian. A Palestinian, for God’s sake. I have told you and told you — they want to give this country outright to the terrorists so we can all live under Sharia Law. Well not me. Not now, not ever. Keep this hippie freak Palestine suicide bomber away from the White House or he’ll strap a bomb to his chest and finish the job bin Laden started. Call in now and tell me what you think. Or order a bottle of Echinacea. Just $19.99 a bottle, cures what ails ya,” said radio entertainer Michael Savage

More here.

(hat tip: C&L)
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